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Date:         Fri, 21 Aug 1998 22:52:52 -0800
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
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From:         Leanne Shawler <volterra@SD.ZNET.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
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Sandy writes:
>>First of all, I want to concede that roundrobins -- if the "Lone Rider"
>>is an example of them -- have gotten better, more polished and more
>>enjoyable for the reader.  But, I still maintain, that they are a
>>better   exercise for the writer, than for their audience.  Writers get
>>to collaborate, and they learn from each other. At least, I'm assuming
>>that they do.  I don't quite understand where the give-and-take is --
>>where the opportunity is to give advice and get it.  I suppose it's
>>during the planning session.
misha responds:
>Your comments on the nature of Round Robins puzzles me. If you've watched
>one or participated in one, please stop me, but in my experience, the RR
>isn't an exercise- it's an experience that isn't necessarily about the
>writing. I'll admit, the immediate response to your section once you've
>finished writing, while your palms are still damp, and your fingers are
>shaking, is something that can't really be replicated, but that isn't why I
>keep coming back. The social interaction with other writers is just as much
>of a thrill.
>
I think that was what Sandy was trying to say (or perhaps I'm putting words
in her mouth *grin*). Round Robins seem to be more for the writer's
pleasure than that of the reader's. Of course, the reader will get a story
to read out of it -- but they miss out on seeing the creation of it, which
seems to be the thrill for RR writers (it terrifies me, frankly *smile*).
Which you know, ain't bad for someone who hasn't (as far as I know)
participated in a round robin and doesn't know the immediate effect it has
on the writers involved.

>>like to get a sense of an author's voice or take on a story.  I think
>>stories done by committee are fine but they're not the best, or we would
>>have seen more masterpieces of collective writing other than the
>>Bible.<g>  Writing is -- at the heart of it -- a very singular
>>occupation.
>Ah...the Bible. I'll assume you're speaking of the King James version (I
>shouldn't, but that's the one I grew up with), which was assembled from the
>various Latin and Greek versions of the early 1600's into something that
>was meant to 'sound good'. And it does. But the disparate styles are even
>more jarring than any round robin I've ever seen. (Try comparing
>Deuteronomy and Song of Solomon ;)
>
It's not just the versions the Bible was written in -- they were written by
many different authors with a few hundred years between them. I think
Sandy's example is a little inexact. The Bible's more like an anthology of
stories than a cohesive whole.

>>Secondly, I wonder why you don't do a soulmates story where either Lois
>>and/or Clark are unable to pursue the romance -- either by virtue of
>>marriage or any other impediment.  After all, they can't always be
>>free.
>Yes, but where's the fun in that? The idea of the round robins is to have
>fun, and the idea behind the soulmates is to show the romance, and with a
>serious impediment, all you have left is angst. While angst is certainly a
>valid vehicle in fiction, I seriously doubt it has much of a place in
>either the Soulmates Chronicles or RRs in general.
>
I for one would be interested in reading it. If there's no impediment
(serious or otherwise) where's the conflict? Sure there's angst -- but look
at the big romances: Tristan & Isolde, Guinevre/Arthur/Lancelot, Romeo &
Juliet, Abelard & Heloise. Um, sure, they're also tragedies, but their love
never died. And Tempus is supposed to have cursed L&C's souls after all! On
a more modern note, Katherine Kerr's Deverry series does some marvelously
delicious twists with her three intertwined souls.

>>Well, thanks for putting up with all these posts.  I hope I haven't
>>annoyed anyone.  Please recognize that the very fact that I wrote three
>>e-mails and put so much thought into this is because I know that the
>>participants care so much.  In light of that, I gave my comments as much
>>thought and consideration as you would want and deserve -- as *I* would
>>want and deserve if I were a participant.
>The participants care deeply about their work, and while I can see how you
>think your comments are made respectfully, I feel that an in-depth edit,
>including typos, word choice and sentence structure, is much more
>appropriate to private email to the participants, preferrably prior to the
>publication of the fic. As a reader, I expect a review to include positive
>and negative comments about the fic, and a recommendation (perhaps with
>qualifications- like a reminder that the fic in question is a RR).

Well, I learnt some stuff out of this -- and not being one of the writers.
I'm gonna have to go look up temporize and extemporize now! As Sandy stated
at the start of her post -- in S5, an individual's edits were frequently
posted to the whole group. We felt this would be a better way to learn from
others' mistakes (and we all make them!) and I think that was Sandy's point
in posting every little bit of it here. You could call it a writer's
review, rather than a reader's review. And Sandy's past reviews have
included some grammar stuff as well, so it's not exactly new, only more
detailed.

With a group of authors it's a little more difficult, but perhaps Sandy
could run it by the author first before posting, in case the author has
objections in being reviewed in that manner? Just an idea.

I wouldn't mind it, but then, I have my editors editing saved for posterity
on my website for the edification of others :) (which I really gotta update)

Leanne

Leanne Shawler aka Volterra on IRC (volterra@sd.znet.com)
Web Design: http://www.znet.com/~volterra/design/webdesign.html
Home Page: http://www.znet.com/~volterra/leanne.html
Midnight Dreaming: The Original Anthony Warlow Home Page:
http://www.zweb.com/volterra/anthony.html
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Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 06:27:41 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
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From:         The Zoomway <Zoomway@AOL.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review (Part 1)
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Well, I reckon as how I ought to reply (cool syntax, eh? ;)  I'll only
respond
to the parts that were written by me  and commented on.  So, let's roll 'em
;)
Since this was more of a reedit than a review, I should be brief (for me
anyway ;).

>>The older man is Wells, I assume.  He wouldn't say "terrible greasy".<<<

Given that I never heard Wells speak, I'll take your word for it<g>
Seriously, it's a typo, it should have been "terribly".

>>>She should be equally surprised that Jeff knows what "etymology" means.
He runs a telegraph.  He's a half-breed.  This is not the level of
knowledge of vocabulary one would necessarily expect from him.  (Lulu
hasn't learned yet that he went all the way to college.)<<<

Well, Lulu is a woman for that matter, and most women of that era were not
thought of as having college educations either.  Maybe Jeff is the one who
should  have been surprised ;)  But this is one of the points where your
review was confusing and often contradictory.  It's as if you forgot and
remember at certain points in the story that Jeff was raised and educated
back
east.  One place you're surprised that Jeff has met a lot of beautiful women
and you write "In Candelero Texas?"  As if that's the only place he's ever
lived.  Later, however, wondering how Jeff became so good with a gun, you
seemed surprised he would be given he was raised and educated back east.
See
what I mean?<g>

>>>This whole section needs reworking.  First of all, I thought they were
supposed to be quiet so as not to alert Lucas.  As the very last
sentence points out, they had no idea whether he was still outside.
Now, let's backtrack. Second -- you're telegraphing your action, instead
of just letting it happen, e.g., "Lulu was shocked at her reaction."
Delete the first sentence.  The action will, then, have greater<<<

This will be more difficult to respond to because part of what you're
commenting on, I did not write.  The above sentence for example "Lulu was
shocked at her reaction" was not mine, nor what preceded it.  Though it does
show a disadvantage to not being familiar with round robin writing.  That
type
of sentence is often called a "setup" in round robin.  The writer just
before
me was creating a situation that challenged me to come up with an
action/reaction for Lulu.

>>>Startled by his words, Lulu turned, grabbed Jeff by the front of his
shirt, and rising on tiptoe, planted a hard kiss on his mouth before
pushing him away.  Lulu was shocked by her reaction, but Jeff was even
more so. He fell against the wall. "Race ya to the stable," she whispered in
challenge.<<<

"..in challenge"?  Is that near Candelero?<g>  Rewriting that scene you
undid
what I had established as a tribute to a scene in Ultra Woman.  Why? Because
I
just wanted to<g.  The scene where Lois grabs Clark's tie, kisses him hard
and
pushes him back forcefully enough that he lands in the chair and says
"whoa".
And the rewording "Lulu was shocked by her reaction, but Jeff was even more
so." Sounds fairly awkward.  It doesn't flow well.

>>>Jeff straightened his hat as he watched Lulu race to the backdoor.
'Whoa!' he muttered, his eyes wide with excitement.   Stepping out to
the back porch, he looked around anxiously for Lucas and his men.  They
were no where in sight.  Breathing a sigh of relief, <<

No, that makes Jeff sound like a wuss.  I prefer him being a little less
cautious when his mind is on Lulu.  She threw caution to the wind, why make
him so ... flaccid<g>

>>>If Jeff is supposed to be incognito, won't Lulu's presence give him
away.<<<

Did Lois chronically being with Superman give *him* away?  Okay,
sometimes<g>:
You buy the premise, you buy the joke ;)

>>>Jeff figured Wells would be a good writer since he managed to make
everything sound as if he'd actually been there.  "Or maybe, I'm just
feeling romantic," Jeff murmured, a little ruefully, thinking of Luisa.
Luisa had promised to meet him, at the special place he had shown her,
to discuss a plan for trapping Judd Lucas, and fortunately, Wells had
agreed to depart when she arrived.  Jeff sighed.  Whatever plan Luisa
had come up with, he was sure it was guaranteed to get her killed.<<<

Again we get into awkwardness and a bit of redundancy with this rewritten
passage. You have a sentence end and then the very next one begin with
Luisa,
I think "she" should have been substituted in the second sentence. Then this
long drawn out part "...at the special place he had shown her, to discuss a
plan for trapping Judd Lucas, and fortunately, Wells had agreed to depart
when
she arrived."  I'm not sure why you have a comma before Wells in the
sentence,
but writing out "the special place he had shown her.." Just covers ground
already covered earlier.  I did like the dialog murmured though.

>>>Would "reverend" be capitalized since it's basically being used like a
proper name?<<<<

I don't know.  Would "captain" be capitalized in "The captain said..."?  I'm
not being facetious, I really don't know.  Most often I see a word/title
like
that capitalized if "the" isn't there.  As in "What's today's sermon,
Reverend?"

>>In any case, here's where things get a little confused with the story.
What is the Reverend doing at the McCoys, and why is he playing cards
(presumably for "the hand" of Lulu and for the ranch)?  There's no set
up to this at all.  It would have been better (and more exciting
storywise) to see how all this came about rather than hear about it
second hand.  This is partially an action story. It would be a good
thing for the reader to experience that first-hand.<<<<

I think you might have missed the subtle setup for this. In an earlier
segment
of the story when the reverend is introduced, a shady past is hinted at
rather
strongly, and Jeff seems to recognize him from a particular riverboat.  That
recognition makes the reverend nervous as if his less than spiritual past is
catching up to him.  Even in the Soulmates episode, he's hardly angelic when
he takes a snort from a flask<g> Having his past involve a riverboat, and
since his past seems shady, then a gambler is likely what he'd been, and
quite
possibly a cardsharp.  Mellie's exposition seemed sufficient to setup the
situation.  Though I've never been fond of page after page of exposition,
and
so I'd be the least likely to write that<g>

>>>Although the parachute idea was definitely a unique solution (and
Supermanish to boot), it's an awfully risky plan.  How do they know
where the wind's going to blow him?<<<

That's part of the point.  I like to call that concept 'suspense' ;) Also it
should be risky because that's just part of Lois and Clark's love for each
other.  "That's what you and I together are all about -- taking a chance."
I
also did a little tribute to a Red Buttons' scene from a movie where he
parachutes into a village during W.W.II and his chute gets snagged on a
church
steeple.

Anyway, that's the last of my writing in the story and so naturally the last
of your comments on my writing<g>  For the most part, the lengthy reedit
seemed a matter of taste (aside from typos)  I really cringe when dialog is
reedited because that's a character call on the part of a writer.  Checking
for grammar in that case is pointless unless the characters are all known
for
having perfect grammar when they speak. Lastly, having each writer's style
and
approach homogenized, sublimated and in some cases castigated by  one
person's
taste creates blandness on an epic scale. No one patch in a quilt is more
important than another, but if they're all the same size and color, call it
a
blanket and sell it at K-Mart<g>  Other than those nitpicks I pointed out, I
enjoyed your review, though I should add that our concept of "soulmates"
comes
>from the series "two lovers destined to meet and fall in love over and over
again"  If you wanna make those 'lovers' brother and sister, warn me
first<g>

Zoomway@aol.com
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Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 08:37:07 -0400
Reply-To:     salymc@gateway.net
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
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From:         Sandy McDermin <salymc@GATEWAY.NET>
Organization: GWNET
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
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Melissa Day Hall wrote:

> >General Points:
> I'll start with a few of my own. I was tempted to edit your review of the
> LR, but editting an edit of a story that has been finished and archived is
> a little pointless. So I'll start with commentary on the actual review:<<

But, Misha, I would have loved to have seen your comments.  I don't
believe I'm necessarily right on every point, so give and take would
have been welcomed.  Let me just make it clear.  This type of exercise
(that is, my posting my very specific comments) may be beside the
point.  Obviously, the story is already up in the archive and the
authors have moved on, but it is a sample of the type of thing that was
done among the S5 writers and it was fun!!!  It may not have seemed that
way at the time,<g> but I think everyone -- authors and editors -- got a
lot out of it, taught a lot to others, and -- most importantly --
learned a lot.  I sure did.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I have been perusing other writing
lists, and this is the type of thing they do as well.  It's welcomed,
and it's taken in the spirit of people enjoying others comments and
learning from them -- learning both how to take criticism and how to
defend their work.  Where else are you going to get this?

> >Positives:
> >
> >First of all, I want to concede that roundrobins -- if the "Lone Rider"
> >is an example of them -- have gotten better, more polished and more
> >enjoyable for the reader.  But, I still maintain, that they are a
> >better   exercise for the writer, than for their audience.  Writers get
> >to collaborate, and they learn from each other. At least, I'm assuming
> >that they do.  I don't quite understand where the give-and-take is --
> >where the opportunity is to give advice and get it.  I suppose it's
> >during the planning session.
> Well, starting off your positive comments with a concession doesn't bode
> well. Further, I was disappointed that you made no mention of what you
> actually liked about LR. If you didn't like anything, it's perhaps best to
> say so, than to temporize (and no, not extemporize- I mean exactly what I
> say), and end up "damning with faint praise".<

I apologize for not being more positive.  However, what I said in the
paragraph you cite was an enormous leap for me!<g>  I admitted<g> that
the roundrobins had gotten more polished and enjoyable for the reader.
These were two criticisms I had in the past, and Pam was trying to point
out that I was wrong -- That they *had* gotten better, and I agreed.

> Your comments on the nature of Round Robins puzzles me. If you've watched
> one or participated in one, please stop me, but in my experience, the RR
> isn't an exercise- it's an experience that isn't necessarily about the
> writing. I'll admit, the immediate response to your section once you've
> finished writing, while your palms are still damp, and your fingers are
> shaking, is something that can't really be replicated, but that isn't why
I
> keep coming back. The social interaction with other writers is just as
much
> of a thrill.<<

But, you see, that's my very point about rr's.  Whether experience or
exercise (however you want to term it), the roundrobin experience is a
*writer's* experience -- if you like.  It's not bad.  It's just -- in my
*humble* opinion -- not the best way to produce a story (as you say).  I
was well aware -- when I sat down and tried to rework a LR paragraph --
that I was doing it under no pressure, other than the pressure of
knowing you all would be reading it. *And*, that is pressure.<g>  In any
case, I was taking my time and thinking about the best way that I could
get across what I wanted in that paragraph.  I'm assuming that's *not*
the circumstances you face when writing a rr.  (I have never
participated in one.  I'm not opposed to it.  I've just never been
invited.)  But, I also must admit, I wouldn't want whatever I wrote to
appear in an archive "for posterity" without an opportunity to go back
and rework it under no pressure.  And, that's one thing that keeps me
>from *inviting myself* to a rr. (I know how to gate crash.<g>)
Typically, the first thing I write is *never* the way it appears "in
public".  That would horrify me!  I best stay away from participating in
roundrobins then.  Hmm?<g>

> >Negatives:
> >
> >As I said, the "Lone Rider" story is better than the roundrobins I read
> >in the past, but I did detect changes in style and tone within the
> >manuscript which can be mildly disappointing if not as jarring as they
> >once were.
> This is something that can't really be escaped in any round robin. Good
> editing (Time to sing praises of Georgia!) can help enormously, but if the
> change in style is something that annoys you enough to detract from the
> enjoyment of the story, then you really shouldn't read RRs.<

Bingo!

> >I also noticed a continuity problem or two which, of course,
> >can be just as problematic with a single author but is much more likely
> >to develop within a group.  Frankly, when it comes to writing, I really
> >like to get a sense of an author's voice or take on a story.  I think
> >stories done by committee are fine but they're not the best, or we would
> >have seen more masterpieces of collective writing other than the
> >Bible.<g>  Writing is -- at the heart of it -- a very singular
> >occupation.
> Ah...the Bible. I'll assume you're speaking of the King James version (I
> shouldn't, but that's the one I grew up with), which was assembled from
the
> various Latin and Greek versions of the early 1600's into something that
> was meant to 'sound good'. And it does. But the disparate styles are even
> more jarring than any round robin I've ever seen. (Try comparing
> Deuteronomy and Song of Solomon ;)<<

Well, I will bow to you and everyone else on this list regarding the
Bible.  I am very ignorant on its evolution, but I was trying to think
of a classic work written by more two people and I really had trouble.

> >The Soulmates Genre:
> >
> >As many know, I'm not a big fan of the soulmates genre, but if I were to
> >write this type of story, I think I'd want to do a twist on the typical
> >plot.
> It may be a little late to suggest this, but if you go into a review with
a
> bias, perhaps it is best to acknowledge the bias at the beginning instead
> of the end, so that the people who _don't_ realize it can be forewarned.<

Sorry, but I have said how I feel about the soulmates concept a number
of times since the soulmates episode appeared on television.  I was
editing myself here, because I thought that the readers wouldn't want me
going off on that tangent once again. (Oh no!)  However, there are bound
to be people who haven't read these debates from the past. So, I
apologize.

> >(Perhaps, you've already done this.<g>)  For instance, I have a
> >fanfic, which I don't consider a soulmates story, that has the Lois-like
> >character in possession of the secret identity as opposed to Clark.
> The Seahawk contains a twist similar to this.
>
> >This is certainly not a new idea.  There was a wonderfully funny fanfic,
> >which was posted to the Loiscla listerv when the show was on ABC, that
> >was very entertaining.  It switched the roles of Lois and Clark.  (Does
> >anyone remember what story that was?  I'd certainly like to re-read it.
> >I believe the author was a male.)
> Superwoman, by Dirk Van Deun<

Thank you.  Very neat little story.  Would love to pop it onto my
writer's survey form, but I already sent it to Annie....  Can I edit my
survey?

> >Secondly, I wonder why you don't do a soulmates story where either Lois
> >and/or Clark are unable to pursue the romance -- either by virtue of
> >marriage or any other impediment.  After all, they can't always be
> >free.
> Yes, but where's the fun in that? The idea of the round robins is to have
> fun, and the idea behind the soulmates is to show the romance, and with a
> serious impediment, all you have left is angst. While angst is certainly a
> valid vehicle in fiction, I seriously doubt it has much of a place in
> either the Soulmates Chronicles or RRs in general.<

I disagree heartily -- *most* heartily.  Besides, who says the story has
to end on a down note.

> >Thirdly, I know this has been discussed before, but, as I understand it,
> >souls which travel together do not necessarily have the same
> >relationship in every incarnation.  It might be interesting to try
> >something different.  After all, doing the same soulmates story, barring
> >the scenery, can become tiring.
> Actually- that's what makes it so challenging and interesting for me- take
> the same plot- two souls who will meet and fall in love- and change
> everything else, from the physical surroundings to the cultural
> assumptions, and see what happens next. Perhaps my fascination comes from
> my deep interest in history and mythology, but that knowledge does nothing
> to dim my enthusiasm.<

Well, I don't know where my feelings come from, except that I like
variety.  I don't want to *know* for a fact that all will work out
because than there's no suspense for me.

> >Well, thanks for putting up with all these posts.  I hope I haven't
> >annoyed anyone.  Please recognize that the very fact that I wrote three
> >e-mails and put so much thought into this is because I know that the
> >participants care so much.  In light of that, I gave my comments as much
> >thought and consideration as you would want and deserve -- as *I* would
> >want and deserve if I were a participant.
> The participants care deeply about their work, and while I can see how you
> think your comments are made respectfully, I feel that an in-depth edit,
> including typos, word choice and sentence structure, is much more
> appropriate to private email to the participants, preferrably prior to the
> publication of the fic. As a reader, I expect a review to include positive
> and negative comments about the fic, and a recommendation (perhaps with
> qualifications- like a reminder that the fic in question is a RR).
>
> Misha<

As I said in my e-mail, I had no idea who wrote what in this story, so I
really was just commenting on the story in general.  Pam *did* include a
list of the writers at the very end.  I scanned it once and then tossed
it aside -- not because I don't want to know who they are or don't want
to appreciate an individual's contribution -- but because the point was
the story and whether I could enjoy it in and of itself, divorced from
the authors.  And, I did.  There were some very clever plot developments
*and* I felt I was in a western town when I was reading it.  The flavor
of the time was captured well. Secondly, I assumed the goal with
roundrobins is to eliminate the author's individual voice and coalesce
the group into one.  I would find this extremely difficult myself, but,
in the case of roundrobins, it must be necessary.

In any case, I don't agree that making comments in private e-mail is
always preferable.  How are we *all* going to learn that way?  How are
you going to get to rebut me?  Why should the authors be the only one's
that get a chance to debate this?  (*Of course*, if someone thinks a
story is horrible, then they shouldn't say anything at all.) But, I
didn't think that -- *to the contrary* -- so I posted my comments.  In
any case, if you were publishing a story in the real world, you
certainly would not be given such consideration.  The criticisms would
be right out in public.  Not only that, if someone hated it, they'd say
it -- in print. (Love when the Post's Jonathan Yardley does this, I
admit.)

Be that as it may, I couldn't "edit" this before it was published -- I
wasn't given the opportunity.  (If I had, I would have taken it.)  But,
as I said above, this fanfic group is also a writing group and editing
is most definitely a part of the writing process.  I see nothing --
absolutely nothing -- wrong with including comments about grammar, word
usage, etc. (This is not an attack; it's a legitimate discussion which
no one should be embarrassed about. I mean, I must get an e-mail every
week telling me that the end of my story "Taken" is a complete
disappointment.  Boo Hoo! *And*, I wouldn't care if the e-mail writer
put that on the list either.)  Anyway, the only problem *I* had with
including all my comments is that it would make the e-mails too
lengthy.<g>

They're already too lengthy.

Sandy -- I'm writing a book.  I have the page numbers down.... I just
have to fill in the rest.
salymc@gateway.net
http://www.erols.com/nightsky/Sandy/ -- Read the fanfic with the bad
ending, right here.
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 09:26:44 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
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From:         "C.C. Malo" <Ccmalo@AOL.COM>
Subject:      re Lone Rider Review
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These fanfic reviews and ensuing discussions are interesting!

I like hearing what others  enjoyed or had trouble with in a story and
whether
they enjoyed the same ones that I did.  The authors' responses are
interesing
because I often discover that I've missed a few things in their stories.
Sandy's explanation of "Taken" made me reread [ and enjoy!] that story
again.
It's instructive, too, to find out something of the authors' motivation or
perspective as they write. I expect it's a little bit more difficult for the
author(s) of the fanfics being reviewed when a review is not completely
postive, but a good review is a thoughtful critique and not a fan letter. It
does mean that people are interested in what you have done, which is a huge
compliment!

The best reviews and follow-up posts have been learning experiences. They
raise issues of character, plot, premise, and writing style as well as
serving
as an example of the type of changes that might be considered in the writing
and editing process. I think they help to set standards.

So, please Sandy, and everyone else , more reviews!

Carol
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 09:28:54 -0400
Reply-To:     salymc@gateway.net
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Sandy McDermin <salymc@GATEWAY.NET>
Organization: GWNET
Subject:      Looking for a fanfic
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

> Superwoman, by Dirk Van Deun<

>>Thank you.  Very neat little story.  Would love to pop it onto my
writer's survey form, but I already sent it to Annie....  Can I edit my
survey?<<

Hmm.  It's not in the fanfic archive.  Is there a webpage or does anyone
have a copy?  (I want to see if my memory of the story is correct.<g>)

Sandy
salymc@gateway.net
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 15:15:49 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Pam Jernigan <jernigan@COMPUSERVE.COM>
Subject:      Lone Rider Review (Part 1)
Comments: To: Blind.Copy.Receiver@compuserve.com
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Hi Sandy,

Thanks for giving us a try :-)  I know you didn't have the highest
impression of round robin stories, but I'm glad to hear you were pleasant=
ly
surprised.  I detect a few ruffled feathers from my fellow RR writers, an=
d
I think it's because we weren't expecting such a detailed critique.  It's=

well within the parameters of this list, I believe, and it can be useful,=

but when it's unsolicited, well, like I said, I think feathers were ruffl=
ed
(how's that for a lovely unspecific passive voice <g>)  (S5 was a very
educational experience for me, and I learned a lot from your critique as
well as from others', but we'd all signed up for that sort of treatment)

I'll comment on your general comments and on your critique of the bits I
wrote (as best I can remember which parts were mine, anyway <g>)

>> He's seen a lot of beautiful women?  In Candelero, Texas? <<

He's new in town, which is why Lulu hadn't met him before, but I suppose
that wasn't clearly stated.

>> Inappropriate for him but appropriate for her? <<

Inappropriate for both of them but he's the only one who worries about it=

<g>  It's a characterization nuance.

>> Was Clark's distrust of Lex this rapid?  <<

No, but neither did Lois fall for Clark as quickly as Lulu did for Jeff. =

The fun part of SoulMates stories is that we get to play with the
variables.  Plus, realistically, we only have so much time in which to
write the story, so we don't get too baroque.

>> I'm going to take a shot at guessing that this is the same writer who
began the story.<g> <<

I'm curious about that myself, but I haven't checked yet <g>

>> Well, well, well?  A plethora of "wells"!  I'm guilty of this myself. =
<<

Um, yeah... guilty <g>

>> If Jeff is supposed to be incognito, won't Lulu's presence give him
away. <<

Not if she stays hidden.  Besides, they only recently met and the
townsfolk won't automatically think of them as a couple yet.

>> I know "temporize" is a word, but somehow "extemporize" seems more
fittin'.<g> <<

I think temporize is the one I wanted, but I'll look them both up and
check...

>> The discussion of Jeff's disguise up to this point in the story and
beyond seems so lowkey....  Unremarkable, considering how important it
is to this couple and their history. <<

Do you mean the discussion seemed so lowkey as to be unremarkable?  I'm
not sure what you meant here.

>> *His* time with her....  (Or, are you trying to play off the concept o=
f
"time" by using the word "this"?) <<

Um... yeah, that's it <g>

The rest of your suggestions seem unexceptionable to me; if we were
still editing this one, I'd look more critically at them.

>> First of all, I want to concede that roundrobins -- if the "Lone Rider=
"
is an example of them -- have gotten better, more polished and more
enjoyable for the reader. <<

Why thank you, my point has been proved. <g>  And I appreciate this
statement coming from such a notable critic of the genre.

>>  But, I still maintain, that they are a
better   exercise for the writer, than for their audience.  <<

Well you know what, you're quite right.  We endeavor to end up with
readable stories, but mostly, these sessions are meant to be fun, for the=

writers and for the online onlookers.  To take writers of disparate style=
s
and strengths and try to get them all going in the same direction is an
interesting challenge, and there's a definite adreneline kick involved in=

writing "live" with a time-limit.  We do edit to some degree after the
fact, but mostly to get the typos out and smooth over any plot holes. =

Polished prose is not our main goal, and we don't generally edit each
other's sections.  (Georgia, our revered editor, will make gentle
suggestions, but that's about the extent of it)

>> Frankly, when it comes to writing, I really
like to get a sense of an author's voice or take on a story.  <<

In which case it seems obvious that round robins are not the best match
for your particular reading style, which you already knew.  Doesn't
mean anything's wrong with either the writing or reading styles, they jus=
t
don't match up.  <smoothing feathers all around>

>> As many know, I'm not a big fan of the soulmates genre, <<

Actually, I hadn't known that; when you asked about soulmates fanfic I
assumed that you liked the concept.  I guess that's the price I pay for
not subscribing to LOISCLA <g>

>>  I wonder why you don't do a soulmates story where either Lois
and/or Clark are unable to pursue the romance -- <<

As others have said, we're constrained by the show, which pretty
much established that they always fell in love, and always got together (=
of
course, Lois always died horribly after consumating the relationship, but=

now that the curse has been prevented, we feel free to skip that
development <g>)

I did have an idea for a tale wherein our L&C were quantum leaping
randomly (H.G. was fiddling with his device and didn't realize at first
that L&C were actually being tossed around thru time - or that part may
have been a collective idea, I can't recall) and ended up as a 70-year ol=
d
Clark and 20-year old Lois.  They run around trying to get these two
together and nearly wreck everything before realizing that they're dealin=
g
with *two* soulmates pairs in the same area - a 70-yr-old pair and a 20-y=
r
old pair.  The 70-somethings had, in the original history, died early due=

to the curse, leaving the way free for the 20-somethings to be born.  But=

when the curse was lifted, the first set lived to a ripe old age,
overlapping their younger counterparts.  The idea was deemed too
complicated, tho <g> and besides I could never get the physics of
reincarnation to work out right...

Basically, however, we have dealt with different permutations of the idea=
,
but as we're all suckers for romance & happy endings, the variations
haven't gotten very extreme.  We've only done 4 of them, after all.

>> Please recognize that the very fact that I wrote three
e-mails and put so much thought into this is because I know that the
participants care so much.  In light of that, I gave my comments as much
thought and consideration as you would want and deserve -- as *I* would
want and deserve if I were a participant. <<

I appreciate your good intentions, Sandy :-)

PJ

!^NavFont02F13AF00E9MGHHI91MI93HIC2MIC4HJ]MJ_HJ40MJ42HJ9DMJ9FHJC0MJC2HK8F=
MK
91H KD9MKDBHLTMLVHL47ML49HL5CML5EHL9BML9DHMLMMNHM4AMM4CHM8BMM8DHNfMNhHN73=
MN
75HNCAM NCCHO49MO4BHOD2MOD4HP3AMP3CHP8BMP8DHRC1MRC3HS]MS_HSF3MSF5HThMTjHT=
B1
MTB3HUTMUVH Y89MY8BHZ86MZ88HZB132D6

  E-mail from: Pam Jernigan
  jernigan@compuserve.com / ChiefPam on the IRC
~~~~~
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/jernigan/folc.html
Find all the IRC roundrobin fanfic -- Featuring recommended fanfics
~~~~~
"That would be me.  Superman's girlfriend, Clark Kent's wife,
Kal-El's concubine.  Former girlscout, present reporter, future
mental patient.  Time traveller, dimension hopper, soul migrator..."
Lois reflects on her life, in _Always Something There to
Remind Me_ by Zoomway

Distribution:
  Ficlist INTERNET:LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 15:40:04 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Karen Ward u <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Re: Looking for a fanfic
Comments: To: Sandy McDermin <salymc@gateway.net>
In-Reply-To:  <35DEC796.C0043CDB@gateway.net>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII

Hi Sandy, and others!

> Hmm.  It's not in the fanfic archive.  Is there a webpage or does anyone
> have a copy?  (I want to see if my memory of the story is correct.<g>)

I believe you can find this story at Debby's site (along with several
other wonderful and entertaining stories)!

Here's the address (hope you don't mind, Debby, I know this one by heart):

ftp://ftp.swcp.com/pub/users/dstark/Stories

and it can be found in the folder "Stories by Others".

Hope that helps!

Sincerely,
Karen :)
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 19:03:23 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Lansbury 1 <Lansbury1@AOL.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
Mime-Version: 1.0
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Sandy,

As a member of the writing team of the "Lone Rider".  I feel the unsolicited
editing was unnecessary and cruel and went far beyond reviewing the story.
You where taking advantage of a captured audience to show your disdain and
disapproval of our writing process by rewriting some of the parts to suit
yourself.

Also, I found nothing useful or helpful in what you said about our finished
product.
I will not go over and/or explain to you, one who openly dislikes round
robin
fanfics, the sections of mine 'you' did not like.

Finally, it is my opinion a writer writes for his or herself.  Especially,
since we are all unpaid and do it for entertainment.  The bonus to it all...
is in hopes someone out there may find enjoyment in what we had done and
rejoice with us in our accomplishments.

Annie Lansbury
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 20:39:06 -0700
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Maggie <maggie13@BELLSOUTH.NET>
Subject:      RoundRobins
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Hi Everyone :)

I have found the discussion on the The Lone Rider very interesting.  I read
that story recently and found it entertaining and fun.  I love to read what
you all write about the more technical aspects of writing and the whole
writing process.  Usually, I am more interested in a story's Warm and Fuzzy
Quotient than in detecting changes in writing style and things of that
nature.  If a story makes me smile, or touches my heart, or reflects back
to me my own humanity, I am a happy camper! :)

However, all the comments you make help to make me a more discriminating
reader.  My WFQ still comes first <g>, but I find it truly delicious to
know more and more rules that I can blatantly ignore ;-). I do love a good
run-on sentence <vbg>.

Anyway, I found reading the Lone Rider that I enjoyed it as a whole story.
For me, it was one complete experience.  As I was reading, I just saw the
changes in who was writing as a new chapter or new scene, but it was all
one story.  And a truly yummy one at that!

Last weekend I had the pleasure of observing the Round Robin writers Live.
I have to say, I honestly didn't expect that I would have soooo much fun.
I was impressed by all of the authors' ability and creativity and couldn't
quite believe the story was being created as I watched. I believe the story
was truly well-written and people who read it will enjoy it thoroughly.

However, I do not believe the whole concept of a RoundRobin story is meant
to produce a literary work of Shakesperian proportions.  To me, the idea is
for the writers involved to meet a challenge and for both the writers and
observers to just enjoy the experience.  The writers are given certain
parameters and a puzzle to solve, then it's like a  relay, where the baton
is handed from person to person and each author runs as fast and as well as
they know how.  The fun part for me is I get to cheer them on as they run.
:)

Furthermore, I think that participating in Round Robins is a very good
experience for the writers.  Surely they will have more confidence [after
having written before such adoring fans :)] to take into other projects and
write even more lovely stories.  The RoundRobin format also gives us all
the opportunity to get to know each other better, chat for hours about our
favorite topics [the, uh, Trail To Paradise comes to mind ;-)], and in the
end, not only have you spent a delightful afternoon with some pretty cool
FoLCs, you have a new story for posterity.

Maggie

maggie13@bellsouth.net  (aka supermag1 on IRC)
Lois (rolls her head and smiles) "What am I going to do with you?"
Clark (smugly) "You're going to love me for the rest of my life."
Pam Jernigan "Crazy For You"
Hmmm, "You bet your sweet chumpy I am" ;-)
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:03:51 -0400
Reply-To:     salymc@gateway.net
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Sandy McDermin <salymc@GATEWAY.NET>
Organization: GWNET
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
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Lansbury 1 wrote:
>
> Sandy,
>
> As a member of the writing team of the "Lone Rider".  I feel the
unsolicited
> editing was unnecessary and cruel and went far beyond reviewing the story.
> You where taking advantage of a captured audience to show your disdain and
> disapproval of our writing process by rewriting some of the parts to suit
> yourself.
>
> Also, I found nothing useful or helpful in what you said about our
finished
> product.
> I will not go over and/or explain to you, one who openly dislikes round
robin
> fanfics, the sections of mine 'you' did not like.
>
> Finally, it is my opinion a writer writes for his or herself.  Especially,
> since we are all unpaid and do it for entertainment.  The bonus to it
all...
> is in hopes someone out there may find enjoyment in what we had done and
> rejoice with us in our accomplishments.
>
> Annie Lansbury<<

Is this how you all feel?  If you do, then I will be more than willing
to withdraw my membership from this list.  I also withdraw my answers to
Annie's writers' survey which I'm sure she would not want to host at
this point, in any case.  If you do not feel the way she does, please
post your messages publicly. I appreciate private e-mails of support but
frankly it's a little tiring getting private encouragement while
receiving public condemnation.

Sorry for the imposition, and sorry for the harsh response but I just
got back from a very pleasant dinner with friends, good food, and
alcohol.  I probably won't even remember what I said here.

Sandy
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:16:25 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Annette Ciotola <AMCiotola@AOL.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider review
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
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/me calls a time out!

Sandy, if you are not prepared to deal with feelings that you may have hurt,
then why bother to post your "Reviews"

Someone once mentioned that a "Break" is needed by the entire fanfic list.
I
really have to agree with this.. Sooner or later everyone is going to be
offened then there wont be a list ;)

This threatening to quit from people only goes so far...

Sorry but that is how *I* feel.. but of course, no one needed to ask..
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:32:11 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Karen Ward <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Fanfic--"Tomorrow's Past"  (1 of 7)
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

Hi all!

This is a story that I wrote a little over a year ago.  However, I recently
dug it out again and was disgusted with what I read.  So I decided to do
some major overhauling and here is the updated version.

If you have already read my story, "Another Family Hour," then this one
will likely seem familiar to you.  However, the only place this story has
ever appeared is in the Fanfic Archive so you may not have seen it.

Hope you enjoy it!

As always, contructive comments and criticisms are very welcome!

FOREWORD:
        In the world of science fiction, one often finds it impossible to
follow any laws of reason and logic.  So, it's likely that there are many
logical errors in this story, but I did my best to explain them away.

        This story is dedicated to Melanie Urbshott, my Lois & Clark buddy.
Whenever I needed to vent my frustration (or elation) about an episode (or
lack thereof), I could count on her to listen.  Thanks, Mel!  You're the
best!

PREVIOUSLY ON LOIS & CLARK:
        Lois pulled back the covers and snuggled into bed next to Clark.
Resting her head on Clark's welcome shoulder, she absently reached for the
warm skin covering her husband's ample pectorals and began to rub gently.
        "Well. . .  my parents are back to normal. . .  clueless that their
son-in-law moonlights in tights."
        "It seems knowing that I'm Superman brought them nothing but
unpleasantness, so now that memory is gone."
        "I don't think Mom remembers being mad at Dad either."
        "Apparently not, because I caught them kissing on the terrace."
        The couple giggled and snuggled closer.  However, Lois' smile began
to fade as her mind wandered to darker issues.
        "Clark, I'm sorry."
        Clark tilted his head to gaze at Lois in inquiry.  "For what?"
        "I'm sorry that Daddy can't find anything wrong with Star Labs'
data.  He doesn't think we'll be able to have kids."
        As Clark began to speak, Lois shifted to face him fully.
        "Honey, I have not, for one second, doubted in us.  We live the
impossible."    Clark nudged a stray lock of hair from Lois' eyes and began
stroking her cheek.  "A child is something brought about by love, isn't
it?"
        Lois searched his eyes and nodded.
        "Well then that, above all else, has got to be possible for us."
        Lois smiled at her loving husband.  Suddenly needing the feel of
her husband's arms encircling her, the feel of his bare skin against hers,
she began to pull her body onto his, only to see Clark's heated gaze falter
and change into 'the look'.
        "What?  What are you hearing?"
        "I'm not sure."
        "Well, what does it sound like?"
        "I can't actually believe what it sounds like."

        Downstairs, Lois followed Clark into the den where they were both
rendered speechless at sight before them.  In Clark's bassinet, a baby was
tucked under a royal blue blanket embroidered with the unmistakable red and
yellow emblem of the House of El.
        They approached the bassinet where Clark spotted and reached for a
piece of paper that rested next to the child.  Lois brought her hand to her
heart as Clark unfolded the paper and read.
        "Lois and Clark, this child belongs to you."
        Lois let out a gasp at the paper's message and turned to peer at
the bassinet's precious cargo.  Lois was awed by the baby's tiny features
and dumbfounded by the vulnerability of such a helpless creature.  How
could anyone abandon a child like this?  Unconsciously, Lois pulled back
the blanket and lifted the baby into her arms.  If this child's parents
weren't going to love it like they should, then she would.
        "Son?  Everything all right"
        "Everyone okay?"
        "We saw the lights."
        "Lois?"
        The concerned inquiries of Lois's and Clark's parents interrupted
the new parents' reverie.
        Clark left the den to meet their parents who were descending the
stairs into the living room.  "Ah. . .  ah. . .  yeah, yeah, everyone.
Everything's is absolutely fine.  Um. . .  Mom and Dad. . .  and ah. . .
.Mom and Dad, we have something to tell you.
        Lois emerged from the den cradling the young baby bundled in a
receiving blanket.

continued in part 2
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:32:22 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Karen Ward <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Fanfic--"Tomorrow's Past"  (2 of 7)
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

continued from part 1

*               *               *

And now for. . .

TOMORROW'S PAST

Starring:
Clark Kent/Superman             Dean Cain
Lois Lane                               Teri Hatcher
Martha Kent                     K Callan
Jonathan Kent                   Eddie Jones
Mitchell Kent                   Tom Cruise
Melanie Kent                    Nicole Kidman
Ellen Lane                              Beverly Garland
Sam Lane                                Harve Presnell
Joseph 'Joey' Kent              Ryan Henderson (my cute, little nephew)
H. G. Wells                             Terry Kiser
Tempus                          Lane Davies
Jake                                    Richard Moll
Benny                           Danny Devito
Nick                                    Robert De Niro
Carl                                    Nicolas Cage

By:
Karen Ward
<ward8120@mach1.wlu.ca>

        Clark turned to Lois with raised eyebrows, drew in his breath and
continued speaking.
        "We found this little guy in the study just now.  I'm not sure
where he came from. . .  but I don't think we should be telling anyone
about him. . .  or her. . .  "
        "Him."  Lois stated matter of factly.
        "Okay, him," Clark continued.   "Anyway, I just have this feeling
that we should keep this to ourselves. . .  for now."
        Protests rang through the group of parents while Lois and Clark
exchanged knowing glances and continued to coo at the baby cuddled in Lois'
arms.  Finally Jonathan stepped forward, gaining everyone's attention.
        "Now wait a minute, Son.  You don't know whose baby this is.  I
think it'd be best if you turned the baby over to the proper authorities.
His parents are probably worried sick."
        "Actually, Dad,"  Clark countered while looking his father directly
in the eye.  "Sometimes, under certain circumstances, turning the child
over to the authorities is not necessarily the best idea.  I think, if you
were in my position, you might do the same thing."  Clark continued to eye
his dad, trying to convey an unspoken message.
        "Clark, Honey," Martha piped.  "I think you should listen to your
father.  He's got a point."  Martha stepped closer to tickle the baby.
"Somebody's probably missing this cute little guy."
        "Well," Lois interjected, "it's late.  It'd be easier to contact
the authorities in the morning so we might as well go back to bed and try
to get some sleep.  Clark and I'll keep the baby in our room to keep an eye
on him.  Mom, Dad, you guys have had a big day.  You should get some rest."

        Sam and Ellen looked at Lois' pleading expression and began to
protest.
        "Lois, there's a baby in your den and you expect your father and I
to go back to bed."
        "Mom, please.  It's just. . .  "
        "I'm sorry, Princess, but I have to agree with you mother on this."
        Clark, noticing Lois struggle to get her parents from the room,
attempted to come to the rescue.
        "I know this seems strange--having a baby show up in our house late
at night, but there's no reason that you should lose any sleep over it.  I
assure you that Lois and I can handle the child for the night.  And then,
first thing in the morning, we'll figure out what to do about it.  Until
then, I think it'd be best if we didn't lose any sleep over this so that we
can be more alert tomorrow when we're. . .  working this thing out."
        "If you're sure. . .  "
        "Yes, Daddy, we're sure."  Lois was feeling exasperated by now.
        Ellen was towed reluctantly upstairs by Sam, mumbling "I should
know by now not to be surprised when these rediculous things happen to Lois
and Clark. . .  "
        Clark's parents remained behind, sensing that something else was
brewing.
        As soon as her parents were out of earshot, Lois began to explain.
"Ah. . .  Martha, Jonathan.  There's something else you should know."
        "Um, Honey," Clark interrupted.  "Why don't we show them?"
        Clark slid the door to the den open and gestured for his parents to
enter.  Inside the den he led them over to the bassinet.    "We found him
in this."  Clark indicated a blanket emblazoned with the Superman shield
which remained in the bassinet.  Lois gently lowered the sleeping infant to
his resting place and picked up a piece of paper from the hood of the
cradle.
        "We also found this," Lois said, handing the note to Martha.
        Martha opened the note while shooting a quizzical look at her
daughter-in-law.  Tentatively, she turned her attention to the message and
began to read.  Her eyes widened as she reviewed the letter.  Promptly, she
shoved the letter at Jonathan.
        "Look at this!"
        Jonathan retrieved the letter and began to read aloud.  "'Lois and
Clark, this child belongs to you.'  What do you suppose that means?  Who
would do this?  I mean, who else knows about. . .  you know. . .  "
Jonathan hesitated.
        "That I'm Superman and that Lois and I can't have children.  Dad,
no one else knows.  I don't know who could have done this."  Clark smiled
at the sleeping child and added, "I don't know who would *want* to do
this."
        Martha approached the bassinet and reached down to touch the
blanket.  She traced her fingers around the 'S' and looked up at her son.
        "Obviously, whoever it is, they know something they shouldn't."
        "I know."   Lois began to pace while wringing her hands.  "Which is
why we have to get to the bottom of this.  We've got to find this person.
Someone with this knowledge could put a lot of people in danger.  Namely,
us.  And I'm not too comfortable with that."
        Clark rested his hand on his wife's back in an effort to contain
her pacing.
        "You're right, Lois.  And we will.  But I think you were right
before when you said that the best thing we can do right now is get some
rest."
        "You're right, son.  Now are you sure you'll be all right with the
baby in your room.  You know your mother and I could--"
        "No, Dad.  It's okay.  We'll just--"  Clark raised his head as his
superhearing tuned into the sound of gunshots.  "Uh. . .  "
        The other occupants of the room immediately recognized 'the look'.
        "What is it, Son?  What do you hear?"
        "It sounds like a shootout down at Clinton and Main.  I'd better
check it out."   Clark began backing towards the window.  "You guys just go
to bed.  I'll be back as soon as I can."
        Clark's departure was accompanied by a blur of red and blue and a
familiar sonic boom.  Lois gazed at the open window and sighed.
        "Look, dear," Martha said, catching Lois' attention.  "If you like,
Jonathan and I can go out and get some baby supplies.  We'll need some
diapers, baby wipes, some pablum. . .  oh!  And we can't forget toys!
He'll need some toys to play with. . .  "
        "Oh Martha, could you?  I don't really have much experience with
babies and I don't know what he needs, or what he likes, or how to feed
him. . .  I don't even know how to change him!"
        "Don't worry, Lois.  Jonathan and I can help you.  Lord knows Clark
gave us loads of practice when he was a baby!  You just stay here and watch
him while Jonathan and I go and round up some supplies.  There must be an
all night pharmacy around here somewhere. . .  "
        "Yeah, down the street.  Are you sure you don't mind, Martha?  I
could wait for Clark and. . .  "
        "No, no, dear!  That's all right"  Martha grabbed her husband's arm
and began pulling him to the front door.  "Jonathan and I will be just
fine."
        "Okay, then. . .  if you're sure."
        "We'll see you in a little bit, Honey."
        Martha and Jonathan, amused by his wife's enthusiasm, disappeared
out the door.
        Lois picked up the bassinet and began to head toward the stairs.
It'd be much more peaceful for the baby in her and Clark's room.  But
before she reached the bottom stair, she could hear the pitter patter of
footsteps coming down the upstairs hallway, and soon her parents appeared
in the stairwell.
        "Lois, what's--"
        "Shh!"  Lois broke off her Dad's inquiry and used her eyes to
gesture to the bassinet in her arms before continuing in a hushed voice.
"Mom, Dad, I thought you guys had gone to bed."
        "We had," Ellen spoke in a harsh whisper, "but we thought you guys
were going to bed too!  What's going on?  Where'd everyone go?"
        "Oh. . .  just out to get some baby supplies.  After you two went
upstairs we realized we didn't have any so they just went. . .  "
        "They went baby shopping?!  Without us?!  I don't believe this!
Sam,"  Mrs. Lane turned to her husband and began nudging him to the door,
"we're going too.  Where were they headed, Lois?"
        "Uh. . .  " bing too tired to argue with her parents, Lois decided
to coopereate.  "Just down the street, to an all-night pharmacy."
        "All right, your father and I will be right back."
        Lois' mouth threatened to form a grin as she watched her father's
face form a tell-tale "We will?" expression as he was ushered out the door.
        After her parents' departure, the baby continued to sleep soundly,
however, Lois had a feeling she wouldn't be getting any rest tonight.  As
if reading her mind, the sound of the doorbell interrupted her thought.  As
she scanned the room, searching for a spot to set the bassinet, the visitor
began knocking frantically.
        "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Lois hollered back.
        The baby stirred and began to cry in response to the sudden loud
noise.
        "Oh!  Shh.  It's okay," she crooned, lifting the child from the
basket.
        The impatient knocking persisted.  Lois stalked toward the door
with the squawking child in one arm and yanked the door open with the
other.
        "Do you know what time it. . .  "  But Lois was lost for words.
        H.G. Wells stood on her doormat, tipping his hat in salutation.

continued in part 3
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:32:34 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Karen Ward <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Fanfic--"Tomorrow's Past"  (3 of 7)
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continued from part 2

*                *                *

        A dark-haired man dressed in a silver jump suit bolted across
Clinton Street and dove behind a cluster of trash cans.  Sparks marked the
places where pursuing bullets ricocheted off trash cans.  Pressing his
athletic figure close to the ground, he began replacing the clip in his
semi-automatic.  His attempt was aborted when a red boot thumped on his
gun, effectively smashing it into pieces.  The young man on the ground
stared at the foot for a second before slowly raising his head to see a
figure dressed in blue tights with a red cape billowing in the wind.  He
instantly recognized the stylized 'S' brandishing his captor's chest and
began yelling.
        "Superman, get down!  You'll be shot!"
        As if on cue, a bullet grazed Superman's left shoulder and sent him
sprawling to the pavement behind the stranger's temporary cover.  Clark
touched the blood now oozing from his shoulder and blinked at the wildly
dressed stranger.
        "Wha..I'm bleeding!"
        "I tried to warn you," the man said, reaching for his mangled gun.
"Those are Kryptonite bullets."
        Gunfire continued to pierce the relative tranquillity of night in
Metropolis.
        "Kryptonite!  What are they doing with Kryptonite bullets?!"
        "They're Anti-Kent Revolutionaries."  The man stated, as if it
should mean something to Clark.  Hopelessly he tossed away his smashed
weapon, groaned, and scowled at Superman.
        To keep under the cover of the trash cans, Clark, favouring his
left shoulder, supported himself with his right forearm and crawled toward
the stranger to continue questioning him.
        "What do you mean Anti. . .  whoa!  Did you say Anti-Kent?!"  Clark
regarded the man in disbelief, momentarily forgetting his wound.
        "Yeah.  They're radicals bent on destroying the Lane-Kent
bloodline.  They think Superman committed the ultimate crime against nature
by contaminating the human race."
        The man peered around the cans to check the enemy's position.  He
immediately ducked back as bullets whizzed through the spot his head had
just occupied.
        Clark was bewildered, but the increasing sound of gunfire forced
all but one of his questions to the back of his mind.  "What can I do to
help?"
        "Try not to get killed while we concentrate on getting out of here.
If you hadn't destroyed my gun. . .  "
        "Look, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize--"
        "It's okay.  I know you were just trying to help."
        Unsure of what to do, and perhaps overwhelmed by the stranger's
confessions, Clark watched the stranger fumble with his utility belt until
he produced a small black grenade, pulled the pin and tossed the grenade at
the opposition.  Tear gas filled the street, briefly slowing the advance of
the revolutionaries.
        "Come on, Superman."  The stranger pulled Clark to his feet and the
two fled into an alley which led them over a block to another empty street.
The pair stopped momentarily to choose a direction as the sound of wild
gunfire roared after them in the alley behind, getting louder by the
second.
        A silver Jeep Grand Cherokee screeched to a halt in front of Clark
and the stranger.  Lois stretched across and opened the passenger-side
door.
        "Come on!  Get in!  Hurry up!"
        Clark scrambled into the passenger side while the stranger loaded
into the back seat.  The tires squealed as Lois raced from the curb,
leaving black marks on the pavement.

*                *                *

        Several men, sporting black turtlenecks and camouflage army pants,
jolted to a stop as they emerged from the alley leading from Clinton
Street.  Their black shirts revealed the royal blue outline of the patented
'S' with the international 'no' symbol slashed in blood-red overtop.  The
leader, tall and lanky with rich brown hair, bore an eerie smile as he
emerged from the group.  A short, stout man, with a disappearing hairline,
approached his superior from the right.
        "Hey, boss, should we snatch a car and follow them."
        Tempus continued to stare down the street after the disappearing
Jeep Grand Cherokee.
        "Patience, Benny, they'll come to us.  They'll most definitely come
to us."
        Tempus turned to two of his henchmen and began to address them in a
calm, confident manner.
        "Well, men, it appears the Kents have temporarily escaped their
impending doom.  Not for long, though."
        "What do we do now, boss?" a hefty, bald man asked from the back of
the group.
        "Now, Jake, we retreat to our fortress to twiddle our thumbs and
play ping-pong until they come.  And they will come."
        Jake scurried to the front, next to his commander.
        "You mean it, boss?  We get to play ping-pong?  I love ping-pong!"
        Tempus shook his head and rolled his eyes before answering.
        "No, Jake, you imbecile, I was speaking metaphorically."
        "Well, how's I supposed to know you's speaking metamorphically."
        "Argh."  Tempus dug into his pocket for a small communication
device and pressed a button to page his other troops while mumbling
arrogantly to himself.
        "One must wonder why the universe's most ingenious criminal would
surround himself with such feeble-minded Neanderthals"
        "Yeah, boss?" a voice buzzed from the speaker of Tempus' miniature
walkie-talkie.
        "Nick, we need transportation over on. . .  "
        Tempus squinted at the nearest street sign.
        ". . .  Bush and Main."

continued in part 4
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:32:43 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Karen Ward <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Fanfic--"Tomorrow's Past"  (4 of 7)
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

continued from part 3

*                *                *

        In the Jeep, Clark and the stranger, still in shock from the
encounter, struggled to catch their breath.  Lois finally broke the silence
when she noticed the crimson stain on her husband's uniform.
        "Oh my god!  Clark, you're bleeding!  Are you okay?"
        "I'm okay.  The bullet just grazed me.  It's just a scratch."
        Suddenly realizing Lois had addressed him by his human name in
front of the stranger, Clark's previously suppressed questions bubbled to
the surface.  He twisted in his seat to interrogate the stranger.  "Who are
you?  And who were those. . .  people chasing us?  What are you doing here?
What do you mean the 'Lane-Kent' bloodline?. . .  "
        "Whoa!  Slow down, Superman.  My name is Jeff.  I'm from the
future, the year 2024."
        Upon hearing this, Clark sank back into seat and moaned.
        "Oh no.  Not more time-travellers.  This is getting ridiculous."
        "Ah. . .  Clark.  I think you should let him finish explaining."
        Lois jerked the wheel left and the Jeep lurched around another
corner.
        Clark turned his attention back to Jeff.
        "Okay. . .  Jeff.  What brings you to 1997?"
        "Well, it all started back in 2019. . .  er ahead in 2019.  Anyway,
after more Superheroes started to pop up around Metropolis people started
to get suspicious, wondering where they were all coming from."
        "More Superheroes?  Were they from New Krypton?"
        "That's what everyone thought at first, until Tempus came along.
He disguised himself at first, knowing you and Lois would recognize him if
he didn't.  He began leaking information to the tabloids about your secret
identity and how all the new Superheroes weren't from New Krypton, but were
actually your children."
        "My children?!  Wait a minute!  But I thought Lois and I. . .
well. . .  we can't. . .  "
        "I know, I know.  I've heard the stories, but Dr. Klein was wrong."
He shrugged.  "You can.  Anyway, Tempus started this radical group who
called themselves the Anti-Kent Revolutionaries.  He convinced thousands of
people that Superman was destroying the human bloodline and that he should
be stopped.  However, very few actually decided to follow him when they
learned that he wanted them to help destroy Superman and his family.  Some,
mostly criminals you'd put away, were scared to go up against a group of
super-powered people, while others felt that execution was a little harsh
seeing as neither Superman, nor any of his Super off-spring, had ever done
any actual physical harm to anyone.  After this conflict, the number of his
followers shrank down to just a handful, including Tempus."
        "Whoa!  Wait a minute!  You mean to say Lois and I *can* have
children?  Wow!  But, that still doesn't explain what you're doing here, in
the 20th century."
        Jeff drew in his breath and ran his hands through his hair,
reminiscent of one of Clark's compulsive habits.  Lois spared a hand from
the steering wheel to clasp her husband's hand as he awaited Jeff's
explanation.  Finally, Jeff returned his attention to Clark and began to
recount his story.
        "Tempus and his gang have already. . .  eliminated the others.  I'm
the last one, at least as far as Tempus is concerned."
        "Did you say that *you're* the last one!"  Clark cut him off before
Jeff could continue explaining.  "Are you saying that you're my. . .  that
we're. . .  related?"
        "Yes, I was getting to that.  Anyway, my wife and I recently had a
child, but Tempus doesn't know about him.  That's why we brought him here,
to preserve Superman's. . .  er. . .  your bloodline.  You see, H. G. Wells
came to me and my family last week.  At first I thought he was some sort of
nutcase but then I remembered all those stories you and M--. . .  er Lois
told us about him and Tempus.  He told me that while he was visiting the
future he found that the utopia established by your bloodline was gone.
Tempus had become their ruler and had turned the utopia into the violent
distopia he'd always wanted.  Mr. Wells figured that he must have somehow
destroyed Superman and his descendants somewhere along the line.  That's
when he came to us.  My wife and I planned to just drop the baby off and
return to pick him up once we'd defeated Tempus in 2024.     Unfortunately.
. .  somehow. . .  he tracked us here."
        Clark sat still in shocked silence as he tried to absorb this
fantastic story.  Lois squeezed his hand in comfort, also attempting to
stimulate some sort of response from her trauma-stricken husband.
        "Honey," Lois prepared to explain while manoeuvring the jeep
through another red light, narrowly swerving out of the path of a taxi as
it crossed the intersection, "they brought us the baby in case they weren't
able to. . .  defeat Tempus."
        Clark diverted his shocked gaze to the driver's seat.
        "How. . .  how do *you* know all this?"
        "H. G. Wells came to our house shortly after you left tonight.  He
filled me in on the important details.  Seeing as you had no way of knowing
about the Kryptonite bullets, I figured you'd need my help."
        Clark's next coherent words were about an octave too high.
        "Oh.  Okay, Honey."
        He turned in his seat to once again face Jeff.
        "So how, exactly, are we related?  Are you my. . .  well
considering the year you mentioned, you must be my. . .  "
        "Son.  Yes."
        "You said that Tempus 'eliminated the others'.  Does that mean
that. . .  he. . .  he killed our other children?"
        Jeff leaned forward and gently placed his hand on Clark's forearm.
        "I'm afraid so."
        Clark growled in frustration and dropped back into his seat.
        "Ow!" He groaned again as the sudden impact caused a sharp pain to
resonate through his shoulder.
        "Tempus!" Lois spat the word as if it had no business being in her
mouth.
        Clark tilted his head back, closed his eyes and began rubbing his
temples.  "It figures he'd be behind such a devious plot.  Why can't he
just leave us alone?  What did we ever do to him?"
        Lois swerved to avoid an intoxicated pedestrian, prompting her to
wave her fist at the drunkard.
        "Hey!  Watch where you're going!"  Lois turned her attention back
to Clark's comment while steering the Jeep onto Hyperion Avenue.
        "You mean other than put him away three times?  Which, by the way,
is going to be four by the time we're done with him."
        As Lois screeched the Jeep to a halt at the curb in front of their
brownstone, a revelation provoked her eyebrows to crinkle in worry.
        "Oh no, Clark!  My parents!  What are we going to tell them?  Oh
Clark, I'm sorry.  I knew it was a bad idea to invite them to stay over
tonight.  I know they were still shaken about the whole ordeal with Fat
Head and everything, but I should know by now to listen my gut instinct
about these things.  After all, I'm a seasoned investigative reporter.  I,
above all people, should. . .  "
        "Lois. . .  "
        ". . .  know when to go with my gut and when not to.  I've been
doing it for years.  I just didn't expect to have to deal with something of
this magnitude tonight.  If I had known I would have. . .  "
        "Lois."
        "Uh. . .  sorry.  I didn't mean to do the manic thing again, but I
can't help it.  You know that's how I cope with things. . .  it's not
necessarily the best way, I know, but it wasn't. . .  "
        "Lois, rel-. . .  "
        "Don't tell me to relax, Clark!  This is no time for relaxing!  How
are your superpowers holding up, by the way?  You look like you're still
bleeding."  Lois leaned across to examine her husband's wound.  "Oh, you
*are* still bleeding.  That's not good.  That must mean you're powers
aren't working either. . .  all those Kryptonite bullets flying around I'm
not surprised.  Oh Clark, I'm so glad you're alive.  When Mr. Wells
mentioned they had Kryptonite I was so worried.  I thought for sure that
they were going to. . .  that you'd. . .  "
        With his good arm, Clark grabbed the back of his wife's neck and
thrust his lips onto hers.  Faster than a speeding bullet, the kiss turned
>from awkward to passionate.  After a few moments of indulging himself,
Clark drew back and turned to Jeff, whose expression indicated that he was
mildly amused by the incident.
        "It's the only way I can get her to stop when she goes off on one
of her tangents."
        "I know.  You and Mom always use that excuse."
        Lois returned to the topic of her parents once she recovered from
her brief state of shock.
        "Clark, I'm serious about my parents.  How are we going to explain
this to them?  Oh god!  They probably already found Mr. Wells.  This isn't
good.  My Mom is the worst at keeping secrets.  They just got over learning
it once already.  I don't know if they can handle it again.  What are we
going to do?"
        Clark and Jeff exchanged knowing glances and shook their heads.
        "Lois, Honey.  Don't worry about it.  We already know we can trust
your father.  As for your mother. . .  well. . .  I'm sure that if she
realized the importance of keeping this secret she'd be able to handle it.
There was a time when I didn't think you'd be able to handle it, but,
obviously, I was wrong about that."
        "I don't know, Clark.  Are you sure?"
        "Yeah.  Besides, they could be sound asleep anyway.  We may still
have time to come up with an excuse."
        "And for you to change out of your Superman garb," Jeff added,
gesturing to Clark's apparel.
        "Actually, Clark, they're definitely not sleeping."  Lois cringed.
"I know that for a fact."
        "Oh. . .  "
        Lois suddenly straightened in her seat as something else occurred
to her.
        "Wait a minute!  Won't Tempus and his thugs know where to find us?"
        Clark's brow wrinkled as Jeff diverted his attention to his hands
sitting in his lap.  Jeff started to speak while keeping his attention
focused on rubbing his palms together.
        "He won't follow us," he mumbled.
        Confusion passed between the occupants of the front seats.
        Jeff turned his attention back to Lois and Clark.
        "He won't come after us," Jeff continued in a stronger voice,
"because he knows we'll come after him."
        This comment only added to Lois and Clark's confusion so he
continued to explain.
        "He's got my wife, Melanie.  He captured her just before we came
here.  He knows I'll do anything to get her back.  That's why I felt we had
bring our baby to you.  In case, I couldn't . . . wasn't . . . successful
in rescuing my wife.  He thinks you'll probably help me."
        "Well, he's right," Lois announced.  "But, first, we need a plan."

continued in part 5
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:32:55 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Karen Ward <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Fanfic--"Tomorrow's Past"  (5 of 7)
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

continued from part 4

*                *                *

        Lois stalked through the entrance to her townhouse, followed
closely by Clark and Jeff.
        "Lois!  Where have you been?  Your father and I've been worried
sick!  Hey!  Who's that man with you?  Why's Superman here?  And who's the
kook in the den claiming to be some dead writer?  And why are Clark's
parents in there taking care of the baby with him as if he's some old
friend of theirs?  Why are you giving me that look?  You're not dying, are
you?"
        "Mom. . .  "
        Smoke seemed to emanate from Ellen Lane's ears as her brain
furiously tried to organize her thoughts.  "Oh my god!  Maybe I'm dead!
Maybe that's why I'm in the same house with a dead writer!  Oh no!  We're
not *all* dead, are we?  We must be.  Why else would we all be here with a
dead writer?  How did this happen?  I don't remember dying.  It must have
been when I. . .  "
        "Mom!!  You're not dead.  None of us are."
        "Well then what's going on?"
        "Yeah, Princess.  What's this all about?" Dr. Lane added.
        Lois looked at Clark, silently seeking permission to give her
parents a straight answer.  Ellen watched the scenario expectantly and soon
became impatient.
        "Lois, if you keep me in the dark any longer, I think my head will
explode!"
        Clark turned to Jeff sympathetically.
        "Do you mind if we talk in private for a bit.  I think it'd be
easier that way."
        "Yeah, sure," Jeff replied.  "Can I see Joey. . .  my son?"
        "Oh, yeah.  Go ahead."  Clark pointed to the den.  "I think he's in
there."
        Clark let the corners of his mouth drift upward as he watched his
future son disappear into the den.
        "Ah-hem."
        Ellen interrupted him from his daze.  Clark looked back at Lois,
seeking encouragement.  Lois gently rubbed his back, careful not to disturb
his shoulder, and prepared to disclose the life-altering news.
        "Mom, Dad, the reason Superman's here is because he lives here."
        "What?!" Sam and Ellen sputtered simultaneously.
        As usual, Ellen took control of the discussion while Sam's face
wrinkled in confusion.
        "Do you mean to tell me that you and Clark have been letting
Superman live with you all this time and you haven't even told me about it?
No wonder you always get those exclusives with him!"
        "No, Mrs. Lane.  That's not exactly it. . .  or should I call you
'Mom'."
        "What?!" Sam choked while Ellen's eyebrows rocketed toward the roof.
        "What he means is. . .  Superman. . .  well. . .  he's Clark.  Or
rather he's what Clark can do.  Clark's who he is."
        Sam and Ellen fixed their confuzed gazes on Superman, who nodded
his confirmation.

*                *                *

        Lois' parents sat on the living room couch in rapt attention as
Lois and Clark tried to explain Clark's secret, and the presence of the
other strangers.  The easy part was explaining Clark's alter-ego, of which
the Lanes seemed surprisingly understanding.  It was the horrible fate of
their future kin that Lois and Clark had difficulty with, however, H. G.
Wells graciously took over that story and finished the explanation.
        At the conclusion of the stunning tale, Sam was the first to break
the tension-filled silence.  Though he was shocked by all these
revelations, especially those concerning his son-in-law and their
time-travelling visitors, one thing was certain.  This was his daughter's
family and dammit, alien or not, he was going to help them the only way he
knew how.  By being a doctor.
        "Super-. . .  er. . .  I mean Clark, that wound on your shoulder's
not looking too good.  Maybe I should take a look at it."
        "Thanks, Dr. Lane.  I'd really appreciate that."
        "Hey, you're my son-in-law.   You can call me Dad.  Or at the very
least call me by my first name."
        Clark grinned and offered his hand to Sam.
        "Sure thing, *Dad*."
        Sam took Clark's hand and, heedful of his son-in-law's left
shoulder, pulled him into a firm embrace.  Witnessing the heart-warming
scene, Lois and her mother felt urged to place an arm around each other and
another around their husbands, making the hug a group effort.

*                *                *

        The fish-scented aroma of Hob's Bay flowed through the shattered
windows of a condemned warehouse down on Fifth and Truman.  Melanie Kent
sat in a corner with her legs crossed and her elbows resting on her knees.
Dried blood disappeared from her temple into a thick collection of fiery
red curls.  Her face exuded an air of confidence and determination.  Inside
she was cowering.  The thug named Carl, with long chestnut hair and a
receding hairline, towered over her with his uzi tucked securely under his
arm.  Tempus paced the concrete floor with an arrogant grin glued to his
face.  Every so often he would stop and chuckle to himself, obviously
pleased with his latest accomplishments.
        "Listen up, men," he began to address his four disciples, "do you
realize that you are a part of the single most outstanding event in human
history?  The demise of Superman."
        His henchmen's gazes were unwavering as they listened to their
leader's spiel.
        "Who would have thought that it would have taken five mere mortals
to eradicate the most powerful and influential family of all time?  Beings
who are able to crush boulders with their bare hands have been, and will be
crushed by me," Tempus announced clenching his fist.
        Tempus noticed that his followers' expressions suggested that they
weren't satisfied by his latest commentary.  "With your help, of course,"
he amended.
        "Men," Tempus continued, "when we're finished with that moronic
alien and that hare-brained son of his, the future belongs to us!"
        "You'll never get away with it, Tempus!  They'll stop you!" Melanie
spat from the corner.
        "Why looky here, we've got ourselves a feisty one boys.  If you
think your musclehead of a husband and his overstuffed pair of tights of a
father are going to stop me. . .  well, you'd better think again."
        "You'd better lose some of that cockiness, Tempus.  They're coming
for me and when they do, they're gonna kick your skinny butt."
        "No, my dear.  You'd better watch out.  You'd better hope they
don't come for you because when they do. . .  well, let's just say that
you'll get to see a lot of the *blood* from the Lane-Kent bloodline."

*                *                *

        At two o'clock in the morning, Martha and Jonathan were making
funny noises and faces at their great-grandchild, now fully awake from all
the commotion.  H. G. Wells appeared deep in thought while Jeff was busy
presenting a plot for Tempus' demise.
        "We know Tempus has my wife and that as long as Clark and I are
still alive, he won't harm her.  That means we can take time to find his
hideout and plan some sort of attack where we can get her back safely,
hopefully without getting us killed."
        "Yes. . .  quite.  But how do we that without his harming poor
Melanie?  We'll have to sneak in somehow and. . .  "
        Silence flooded the den as the door to the living room slid open.
Lois and Ellen entered the den giggling at an inside joke but abruptly
stopped upon seeing the expectant faces of their audience.
        "It's all right, guys," Lois encouraged, "we told them."
        "Everything?" Jeff inquired.
        "I hope so!" Ellen answered sarcastically, "What more could there
be?!"
        Ellen's demeanour changed from jovial to reverent. "Wow!  I can't
believe it.  You're my grandson," she said focusing on Jeff.  Turning to
the bassinet that held Joey, she added, "And this cute little guy is my
great-grandson.  I'm barely old enough to be a grandmother, let alone a
great-grandmother."
        The group smiled at Ellen's attempt at humour.  Martha was the one
to notice the absence of Sam and her son.  "Lois, dear, where are Clark and
Sam?"
        "Your Dad's not giving him the old third degree about an alien
marrying his daughter, I hope," Jonathan added with a wink and a chuckle.
        "Oh, no, Jonathan.  He decided to get all doctor-like instead.
He's patching Clark's wound."
        "Clark's wound?"
        Martha and Jonathan were equally surprised and worried to hear of
her son's injury.
        "Oh, don't worry.  It's nothing major.  He was just grazed by one
of the Kryptonite bullets.  I'm sure he'll be fine."
        "I'm sure he will too," Sam announced as he breezed into the den.
        Flushed with excitement, he proceeded to explain the nature of
Clark's wound and the amount of time he guessed it would take for him to
recover, "Not very long, considering who he is."

        Sporting his glasses, a pair of black boxers, and a large amount of
gauze on his left shoulder, Clark appeared in the doorway.  Unnoticed at
first, he watched the smiling faces of his family members, both future and
present, as they talked amicably among themselves.  They all seemed
deliriously happy.  Clark realized that for the first time since meeting
him, even Jeff attempted to look cheerful.  He bore a distracted smile
while relaying to Clark's parents and H. G. Wells several humorous tales
depicting the trials and tribulations of his recent venture into
fatherhood.  "Leave it to Mom and Dad to bring smiles to peoples' faces,
even in the worst of times," Clark thought.
        Continuing to scan the room, Clark saw Lois' parents cuddled on the
couch, enjoying the sight of their great-grandson, Joey, nestled in Lois'
arms.  The infant had fallen asleep again as Lois sat engrossed in Jeff's
tales.  The urge to protect overwhelmed Clark's senses as he broke into the
joyful chatter of the room.
        "Ah-hem," he cleared his throat to attract the group's attention.
Gathering his resolve, he proceeded to speak in a solemn voice.  "We have
to find Tempus."

continued in part 6
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:33:07 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
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Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Karen Ward <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Fanfic--"Tomorrow's Past"  (6 of 7)
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continued from part 5

*                *                *

        After hours of planning and debating in Lois and Clark's den, the
only thing the group could agree upon was that they all needed rest.  It
was early morning before Lois' parents had decided it best for them to
return to their homes, while Martha and Jonathan retreated to the guest
room.  H. G. Wells departed in his make-shift time machine, promising to
return after everyone had rested up.  Jeff lay restlessly on the living
room couch with Joey sleeping peacefully in his bassinet on the coffee
table.  After seeing everyone to bed, Lois returned to the master bedroom
to find Clark slouched on the bed with his head in his right hand.  Lois
took a seat to his left, draped her arm across his back and began to
massage his good shoulder.
        "Clark, what's wrong?  What's on your mind?"
        "Oh. . .  it's just that Tempus has really gotten to me.  I've
never felt so much hate for one man, except maybe Lex.  I feel like I could
actually kill him.  And I think that if I confronted him. . .  I think I
probably would."
        "If you ask me, you hardly need to feel guilty for that.  The man
killed you, and most of your family. . .  or will do it in the future
anyway.  It's perfectly understandable that you'd like to return the
favour.  I'd like to do it myself.  But I'll be generous and let you do it
first if you like."
        Clark chuckled at his wife's morbid humour, but the smile soon
vanished from his face and the pained expression returned.
        "There something else, isn't there, Clark?"
        Clark rose from the bed and began to pace the room.     "Honey?
What is it?"
        Clark stopped, looked at Lois, and sighed.
        "It's just that. . .  I kind of feel like I'm responsible for
what's happenned. . .  like I should have been more careful before.  You
know, made sure that Tempus was taken care of. . .  for good. . .  so that
he couldn't hurt anyone else.  Then none of this would have happened."
        Lois walked over to Clark, took his hands, and looked meaningfully
into his eyes.
        "Oh, Clark.  You can't blame yourself for Tempus' evil.  It's not
your fault.  Look, Honey, you did what you could before.  You did what you
thought was right.  There is absolutely no way that you can be held
responsible for this madman's actions."
        A smile twitched across Clark's face as he reached to touch his
wife's cheek.
        "How did I ever get to marry a woman like you?"
        "You got really really really lucky.  That's how."
        The couple chuckled and Clark hugged his wife to his chest.  Lois
pulled back a little as her mind zeroed in on something else.
        "Seeing as we now know that we are able to have children, you know
what I think, Clark?"
        "What?"
        Lois drew a line down Clark's jaw line with her fingertip as her
voice took on a seductive edge.
        "I think we should hurry up and bag these bad guys so we can get
back to trying to start our own family."
        "That sounds like a wonderful idea," Clark whispered as he leaned
in to place gentle kisses on his wife's neck, "Why don't we get back to
trying right now?"
        "Mmm. . . sounds good to me. . ."

*                *                *

        "I've got it!" Lois shouted as she awoke from her fitful slumber.
        Rays from the mid-morning sun streamed through the window of the
master bedroom in Lois and Clark's brownstone.  Lois shook her husband's
chest in an effort to wake him.
        "Clark!  Wake up!  I've got an idea!"
        "Wha. . .  " Clark stretched and began rubbing his fists in his
eyes.
        The effort seemed to bring him closer to consciousness and he
continued in a groggy voice, "What is it, Honey?"
        "Clark, I know how to defeat Tempus!  We have to see H. G. Wells!"
        Lois was already out of bed and rushing about the room, grabbing
clothes from here and there and throwing them on.  She was shoving various
pieces of survival gear in a knapsack when she noticed Clark watching her.
She hurried over to the bed, clutched Clark's arm and began hauling her
husband to his feet.
        "Come on, Clark.  We've gotta do this now before Tempus gets
another shot at us."
        Clark allowed himself to be dragged about by his wife, but not
without questioning her.
        "Well, what's your idea, Honey?"
        "I'll tell you about it over breakfast. . .  or lunch, I mean. . .
when H.G. Wells gets here.  Now hurry up and get ready. . .  oh wait!
How's that gash on your shoulder now?"
        Clark peeled back the bandage to reveal healthy skin.
        "What gash?" Clark replied innocently.
        Lois scooted over and inspected his shoulder.
        "Wow!  You can never underestimate the healing power of love, huh?"
        Clark gave his wife a playful smirk but was cut off when he
appeared ready to retort.
        "Well, what are you standing around for?  We've got bad guys to
catch!"

*                *                *

        Rays from the late afternoon sun illuminated the dust roaming
around the abandoned warehouse which was Tempus' hideout.  In the middle of
the room Nick, a middle-aged man of medium build, stared at five cards he
held in his left hand.  He brushed his right hand through his dark hair,
revealing streaks of grey hidden under darker strands.  His brow wrinkled
before he slapped his cards face down on the decrepit picnic table and
announced, "I fold!"
        Dollar signs flashed in Benny's eyes as he reached across the table
to gather up his opponent's money.
        "That's too bad," he drawled sarcastically in his Yankee accent,
"looks like I win."
        "Where are they?" Tempus complained, interrupting their card game.
"They should have come by now."
        Tempus turned to Jake and Carl guarding Melanie in the corner.
        "All right, guys!  They should have found our hideout by now.
After all, there's two of them with x-ray vision.  If they're not going to
take the bait then I'm going to have to show them that I mean business.  If
those numskulls don't show up in the next five minutes I want you to take
Mrs. Kent here and. . .  aah!"
        Tempus' instructions came to an abrupt end as a searing pain
rocketed though his temples.  He dropped to his knees and clutched his
head.  Jake rushed to his side, took his arm and attempted to help him to
his feet.
        "What's the matter, boss?"
        Tempus shook off Jake's arm and continued to moan in pain.  As the
pain began to wane, Tempus rose to his feat, tentatively removing his hands
>from his face.  He blinked furiously, trying to wash the fog from his head.
A look of horror took over his expression when his focus returned.  As
realization hit him, he flopped back down to floor and began sobbing
uncontrollably.

concluded in part 7
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:33:18 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
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From:         Karen Ward <ward8120@MACH1.WLU.CA>
Subject:      Fanfic--"'Tomorrow's Past"  (7 of 7)
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*                *                *

        Lois's and Clark's parents were upstairs entertaining, or rather
being entertained by, Joey.  They had been there all afternoon since Lois
and Clark refused to let them be involved with the plan.
        "If it fails," Clark had explained, "we need you to look after
Joey.  Then there's still a chance that our bloodline can be restored and
Utopia won't be destroyed."
        The parents hadn't been let in on the plan for fear that they would
do something foolish in an attempt to come to the rescue.
        "I'd never do anything foolish!" Ellen had protested.
        Now, at 4:13 p.m., a tapestry of bright lights began to fade as the
sleigh-like time machine of Mr. Wells' invention came to rest in Lois and
Clark's living room.  Clark, Lois, Jeff, and H. G. Wells scrambled from
machine to implement the final stage of their plan.  Lois was beginning to
instruct her cohorts on the next step when the doorbell interrupted her.
        "I wonder who that could be?" Lois called over her shoulder as she
approached the door.
        Out of habit, and encouraged by Lois' words, Clark and Jeff both
trained their vision on the door to get a preview of their caller.  At the
same time, Lois was on her tiptoes, peering through the peephole.
        "Tempus?!" the three exclaimed in unison.
        Unsure of what to expect, Lois opened the door tentatively while
Clark and Jeff surrounded her in defense.  Once the entrance was open,
Melanie appeared from behind Tempus and rushed into her husband's embrace.
Tempus fell to his knees and clasped his hands before his face.
        "I'm so sorry!" he pleaded, "I've done a horrible thing!  How can
you ever forgive me?  I'll do anything you want!  Just say the word."
        Tempus spotted H. G. Wells seated on the sofa next to the time
machine and hustled over to his side.
        "Herb, I'm an awful person.  You have to take me back to the 22nd
century. . .  back to jail where I belong!"
        "Fortunately for you, Tempus, that is quite possible."
        "What's going on?  We heard the doorbell."
        Martha appeared in the stairwell holding Joey's bassinet, closely
followed by Jonathan, Sam and Ellen.
        "Why, Mrs. Kent, I was just about to escort Mr. Tempus here back to
the future."
        Looks of confusion bombarded the faces of Lois' and Clark's parents.
        Lois spoke, attempting to ease their bewilderment.
        "Don't worry, guys.  We'll explain it just as soon as Tempus is
gone.  It's probably best if he doesn't know what happened to him."
        H. G. Wells turned to Jeff and Melanie, still lost in each other's
arms.
        "Ah-hem. . .  I'm terribly sorry to disturb your. . .  ah. . .
reunion, but I'm afraid we should be on our way."
        Lois mumbled aside to Clark, "I see some things never change."
        Jeff and Melanie smiled and started toward the time machine only to
be intercepted by Lois and Clark.
        Clark offered his hand to Melanie.  "I'm sorry you had to go
through all that, Melanie."
        "Oh, that's okay.  I know it's just all part of being married to a
superman. . .  and believe me it's worth it!"
        "I know exactly how you feel," Lois added, wrapping an arm around
her husband's waist.
        Jeff smiled warmly at the young version of his parents.
        "Thank you so much for your help.  You have no idea how much it
means to me. . .  to us," Jeff corrected while squeezing his wife's
shoulder.
        "We should be the ones thanking you for giving us a future to look
forward to," Lois added sincerely.
        Jeff and Melanie gathered up their bundle of joy from Martha.  With
a final wave, the young family joined Tempus and H. G. Wells waiting in the
time machine.
        A spectacular light overwhelmed the room as the time machine roared
to life and soon disappeared from the living room.  After a brief moment of
speechlessness, Martha broke the silence.
        "So, Lois, Clark, tell us what happened."
        "Yeah, guys.  Tell us what happened!" Ellen piped.
        "Well," Lois started.  "Do you remember how we told you about the
time Tempus came back in time and tried to kill Clark as a baby?  Well, we
kind of turned the tables on him."
        Clark took over the explanation.
        "H. G. Wells took us ahead to when Tempus was a baby, hoping that,
somehow, we could influence his future."
        "We found out that he had been abandoned at a very young age and
spent most of his youth bouncing around from orphanage to orphanage.  Then
Clark and I decided to go to the time just after he'd been abandoned. . .
so we could find parents for him who would raise him with strong morals."
        "And get this," Clark added, "the couple we found to raise him
turned out to be our great great great grandchildren."
        Their parents regarded Lois and Clark in astonishment before Ellen
spoke up.
        "You mean to tell me that he's now a *part* of the Lane-Kent
bloodline. . .  so to speak?"
        "Yup," Lois nodded, "kind of ironic isn't it?"
        "I'm pretty sure he won't be trying to destroy us anymore. . .  now
that he's one of us," Clark assured.
        The ring of the phone interrupted the scattered giggles that echoed
through the room.  Lois answered.
        "Hello. . .  Oh, hi, Perry. . .  Yes, I realize Clark and I didn't
show up for work today. . .  It's a long story. . .  Let's just say that it
was a family emergency."  Lois winked at her witnesses.  "Oh, no.
Everything's all right now. . .  I'm sorry we didn't call, it just wasn't a
priority in light of the emergency. . .  Yes, Perry.  Clark and I will be
in to work tomorrow. . .  Yes, and we'll be sure to let you know if there's
another emergency. . .  Thanks, Perry. . .  Bye."
        The blinding light of the time machine filled the room once again
as Lois replaced the receiver.
        "Mr. Wells, you're back.  Is everything okay?  Tempus didn't
escape, did he?"
        "Oh, no, Ms. Lane.  I assure you everything went as planned.
Tempus is safely back in the 22nd century, where he belongs.  Did you know
that he ends up founding Helping Hand?  It's an organization devoted to
finding suitable parents for orphans.  Quite remarkable, really."
        "And Jeff and Melanie?" Clark inquired.
        "Ah, yes.  They're back in 2024 with Joey, and the rest of the
Lane-Kent family."
        "You mean. . .  they're alive?"  Lois was excited.
        "Yes.  It seems that once Tempus was returned to the time in which
he belonged, everything he had disturbed, starting in 2019, returned to
normal."
        "So. . .  " Lois was expectant, "what's normal?"
        "Now, now, Ms. Lane.  You know I can't tell you that.  That's for
me to know and you to find out.  Now if you'll all file into the time
machine. . .  "
        "Wait a minute," Clark interrupted, "are you taking us back to. . .
before this all happened?"
        "Why, yes, of course.  We can't have you knowing your future now
can we?  That would spoil the surprise."
        One by one, Lois, Clark, Martha and Jonathan stepped into the time
machine.
        "Wait!" Lois shouted as the machine began to hum.
        "Will Clark and I remember that we're able to have children?"
        The mystical bright light swallowed Lois' words as the machine,
once again, disappeared from the living room.

*                *                *

        Lois pulled back the covers to her bed and snuggled into her
partner's arms.   Resting her head on Clark's welcome shoulder, she
absently reached for the warm skin covering her husband's ample pectorals
and began to rub gently.
        "Well. . .  my parents are back to normal. . .  clueless that their
son-in-law moonlights in tights."
        "It seems knowing that I'm Superman brought them nothing but
unpleasantness, so now that memory is gone."
        "I don't think Mom remembers being mad at Dad either."
        "Apparently not, because I caught them kissing on the terrace."
        The couple giggled and snuggled closer.  However, Lois' smile faded
as her mind wandered to darker issues.  "Clark, I'm sorry."
        Clark tilted his head to gaze at Lois in inquiry.  "For what?"
        "I'm sorry that Daddy can't find anything wrong with Star Labs'
data.  He doesn't think we'll be able to have kids."
        Lois shifted to better face her husband as he began to speak.
        "Honey, I have not, for one second, doubted in us.  We live the
impossible."    Clark nudged a stray lock of hair from Lois' eyes and began
stroking her cheek.  "A child is something brought about by love, isn't
it?"
        Lois searched his eyes and nodded.
        "Well then that, above all else, has got to be possible for us."
        Lois smiled at her loving husband.  Suddenly needing the feel of
her husband's arms encircling her, the feel of his bare skin against hers,
she began to pull her body onto his, only to see Clark's heated gaze falter
and change into 'the look'.  "What?  What are you hearing?"
        "Oh, nothing.  I'm sorry, Honey.  It's just that. . .  "
        "Uh-huh," Lois urged.
        "I've just been having the strangest feeling of deja-vu."
        "Really?  You, too?  I thought it was just me."
        Clark's visage gradually returned to one of desire.
        "You know, deja-vu's not the only thing I've been feeling."
        Lois began drawing figure eights around the edges of her husband's
pectorals.  "Really?" she purred.  "So, Mr. Kent, tell me about this other
feeling you've been having."
        "I think it'd be better if I showed you. . .  "

THE END

Karen Ward
<ward8120@mach1.wlu.ca>
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 21:01:29 -0500
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Melissa Day Hall <mhall@SOUND.NET>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
In-Reply-To:  <35DF6A77.2FA650A0@gateway.net>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

>Is this how you all feel?
I've already posted my opinion of your review, Sandy.

>If you do, then I will be more than willing
>to withdraw my membership from this list.

This, however, is a horse of a different color. I speak now to the entire
list, and if you think it's a personal attack- that's your problem.

This is a threat that I have seen time and again both recently on this
mailing list, and in other lists and internet forae. And, quite frankly, I
find it both juvenile and tiring.

Stopping your subscription to a mailing list because of what you percieve
as an attack (whether real or imagined) is pointless. You are letting one
person's opinion stand between you and the rest of the mailing list. You
cut yourself off from valuable interaction with people who share interests,
if not always the same opinions. It's only a threat to the people who want
you to stay, and that makes it both a plea for attention and a blatant
attempt to garner sympathy and divide a list into factions.

And the most disgusting part about it is that it is an empty threat. Only
the list owner can see the entire list of subscribers, and I have yet to
meet the list owner who pays much attention to the membership list other
than to make sure it's all running smoothly. So no one really knows if the
'threat' has been carried out. More often than not, I've seen people who
threatened this wait a week or a month or however long it took for the
sympathy posts to die down, and then post again as if nothing had ever
happened.

I see this as extremely juvenile behavior. I am not the list mother, and I
speak in no official capacity. But I feel that this act demeans both the
originator of the threat, and the list in general- because the originator
does not feel as if the content of the list is worth a few minor
differences of opinion.

Misha
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 22:24:15 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Pam Jernigan <jernigan@COMPUSERVE.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
Comments: To: Blind.Copy.Receiver@compuserve.com
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Sandy,

>> Is this how you all feel? <<

No.  I think editing an already published story was redundant, and doing =
so
in public without the prior approval of the authors was rather tactless,
but I didn't see anything in your posts as either cruel or disdainful. =

(That's more direct than I like to be, but you did ask, and you deserved =
an
honest response)

>>  If you do, then I will be more than willing to withdraw my membership=

>from this list. <<

I think we've had enough public resignations for one month, thanks
(btw, welcome back, Leanne <eg>)

>> I appreciate private e-mails of support but
frankly it's a little tiring getting private encouragement while
receiving public condemnation. <<

That, I can understand... and hence my public response.  Sandy, you and I=

are not especially friends, but I do respect your writing skills.  I
learned a lot from you (and the other participants) during the course of
S5.  But I think the crucial difference here is in attitude.  In offering=

your critique, you were clearly operating from a very professional "we're=

all in this to improve our writing" standpoint.  The trouble is, writing =
is
a very personal endeavor, and when criticism arrives out of the blue, it
can be very hard not to take it personally, which I believe is where thes=
e
reactions are coming from.  Your reaction will probably be a muttered "gr=
ow
up, people" <g> but that does nothing to soothe hurt feelings.

I suspect the best course will be to refrain from public critiques of
stories unless the author(s) agrees beforehand.  I'm very well aware that=

my stories have their faults, and I'm even interested in learning more to=

improve my writing in future, but I would not want those faults laid out =
&
explained on this list.

This is a group of people who write for their own enjoyment and to
entertain others.  Most of us do not have high professional standards, an=
d
to judge our efforts on those standards is at best inappropriate.

IMO.

PJ

!^NavFont02F063F0030MGHHGNMGPHGdMGfHHfMHhHH66MH68HHBCMHBEHI~MI39HM41580A

  E-mail from: Pam Jernigan
  jernigan@compuserve.com / ChiefPam on the IRC
~~~~~
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/jernigan/folc.html
Find all the IRC roundrobin fanfic -- Featuring recommended fanfics
~~~~~
"That would be me.  Superman's girlfriend, Clark Kent's wife,
Kal-El's concubine.  Former girlscout, present reporter, future
mental patient.  Time traveller, dimension hopper, soul migrator..."
Lois reflects on her life, in _Always Something There to
Remind Me_ by Zoomway

Distribution:
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Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 22:35:18 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         demona <demona@SHAW.WAVE.CA>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
In-Reply-To:  <35DF6A77.2FA650A0@gateway.net>
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Well, I will continue to hold onto my comments regarding Sandy's round
robin review.  I'd rather not go there at all.

At 09:03 PM 8/22/1998 -0400, Sandy McDermin wrote:
>Is this how you all feel?  If you do, then I will be more than willing
>to withdraw my membership from this list.  I appreciate private e-mails
> of support but frankly it's a little tiring getting private encouragement
while
>receiving public condemnation.

Ouch.  I hate to be the bearer of the obvious. But my goodness, Sandy, if
you belittle your private encouragement that way .. tire of it publicly, as
the case may be (and as enthusiastically as you've belittled many other
people, writing endeavors and projects on this list), then you may not have
much of even *that* form of encouragement forthcoming from now on, either.

Ixnay, as they say? ;)

Otherwise, while I (as Misha) found the context of your most recent post to
be in poor taste, and would have worded it completely differently were I to
have written a similar plea to divide the list into factions (I'll send you
my revised draft in 3 parts within a few days, I'm just a little busy at
present). You should know that it wasn't a total disaster.  Your spelling
was immaculate! (So far as I can tell, but then again I never have won any
awards for spelling, myself!)

Best**
Demi
_______________________________________________________

                 Demi (a.k.a) Demona
    <Demona@shaw.wave.ca> or <Demi22@aol.com>
 http://fantasia.simplenet.com/lcfantasy/demona.htm
                    ---
                  L&C Site
    http://fantasia.simplenet.com/lcfantasy
                    ---
    You gotta dance like nobody's watching, and love
    like it's never gonna hurt.
                    ---
    I can please only one person per day.  Today is
    not your day.  Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
________________________________________________________
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 22:52:48 EST
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         goldengrove unleaving <kubitc@KENYON.EDU>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider review

Since Sandy asked for our opinions... I have to agree with Anne (and whoever
said this originally) that I think we all need a break. Since this is a
fanfic
discussion list, there are bound to be disagreements on what constitutes
"discussion." And there's going to continue to be disagreements, even if
someone were to set guidelines as to what we're allowed to comment on
concerning others' stories (which, btw, I'm not advocating someone do).

That said, I think if you post a story to a fanfic discussion list, you have
to
be ready for anything, whether it's what you'd consider appropriate
discussion
or not. (Personally, sometimes I wonder why people send posts that say only
"good story." While it's nice for the author to hear, I wouldn't consider it
discussion. But I can understand that someone might, so at that point I
simply
hit delete & move on.) Too, if you post a review to someone's fanfic, you
have
to understand that it might result in hurt feelings.

In fact, this is the main reason I've never posted anything I've written to
the
list. Recently I had someone edit a story in a way that might be considered
harsh, but it's helping me a great deal. The person who edited it for me
pointed out very important things (including rewriting & rewording things
she
found awkward) and I'm very grateful to her. (And still working on the
revisions :) However, I don't know how I would've felt if her comments
would've
been posted to the list for all to read. So since I'm not yet ready to hear
everyone's honest "discussion" about my writing, I'm not posting it to the
list.

As for Sandy's comment that "it's a little tiring getting private
encouragement
while receiving public condemnation," I hope that my initial reading of that
particular part of her post was correct- that, while it's nice to get
private
positive comments, she wishes some of those people would act the same way
publicly. I hope that you didn't mean that you actually get tired of private
encouragement. In fact, Sandy knows that I have written to her privately to
let
her know how much I enjoyed one of her stories. Both since it was an nfic &
since I thought posting a review of it to the list might spoil the ending, I
sent my message privately. And I don't think that devalues my opinion of the
story.

-Christy (who's still gathering up enough courage to post a story to the
list
one day & find out what everyone, not just the few who trudged thru it via
the
archive, thinks of my writing)
 kubitc@kenyon.edu
 Attalanta on IRC
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 22:57:44 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         -Audrey Howard <Moped12646@AOL.COM>
Subject:      Re: Fanfic--"'Tomorrow's Past"
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Karen,
What can I say about your fanfic, but, WOW!! I loved reading it.

-Audrey
=========================================================================
Date:         Sat, 22 Aug 1998 23:01:58 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Lori McElhaney <LoriMcE@AOL.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
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In a message dated 8/22/98 8:03:44 PM Central Daylight Time,
salymc@gateway.net writes:

<<
 Is this how you all feel?   >>

No, not at all, but I "knew" what was coming, being involved in S5.  In
fact,
I was kinda disappointed that my S5 solo effort didn't get this kind of
treatment since you were busy with your episode at the time.   I know the
story would have been stronger for it.  As far as criticism of dialogue and
style - as far as I'm concerned, the author has the option of taking it or
leaving it.  Sometimes someone else's style and take on the characters is
not
yours, so you can just say "thanks for your opinion" and do what you want;
but
others it's "wow, yes that's exactly what I meant to say."  It takes a lot
of
time and effort to get into the detail you did.   I'm in the middle of a
fanfic right now, that I hope to post to the list soon - and I'd love to
hear
what you say about it.

As far as grammar goes - well for an archived story, it doesn't seem to
matter
much.  I doubt that unless it has extensive problems, the author is going to
reedit and rearchive.

But other than that, this is what I thought this list was for: fanfic
reading/writing, commenting and critiquing; not everyone will agree with
everyone's opinion on a particular fanfic or writing technique, but I think
everyone benefits from the discussion.

Lori
=========================================================================
Date:         Sun, 23 Aug 1998 00:30:31 -0400
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Donna Lehman <102262.2435@COMPUSERVE.COM>
Subject:      Re: Fanfic "Tomorrow's Past"
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Karen:
Loved it!! I am not a writer or do I review but I do enjoy reading....I
just enjoyed this one so much. I love anything with HG Wells in it. =

I always enjoy references to TV eps and there were many of those and all
the warm fuzzys...Thanks.
Donna
=========================================================================
Date:         Sun, 23 Aug 1998 01:20:09 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Lansbury 1 <Lansbury1@AOL.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
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In a message dated 8/22/98 9:03:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
salymc@gateway.net writes:

<< I also withdraw my answers to Annie's writers' survey which I'm sure she
would not want to host at this point, in any case.  >>

Sandy,

I have made no bones about my disagreeing with your review.  I would never
let
my feelings regarding this matter in anyway keep me from adding you to the
Writer's Showcase. Your name was submitted and I sent you a survey.  The
Writer's Showcase is a different area altogether and has nothing to do with
my
feelings of your review of Lone Rider.  But, if you want your survey deleted
I
will honor your request.  Let me know what you decide.  It will be your
decision not mine.

Annie Lansbury

Annie Lansbury
=========================================================================
Date:         Sun, 23 Aug 1998 01:50:36 -0500
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         Kathy Brown <kbrown@WEBMART.NET>
Subject:      Review - "Tomorrow's Past"
In-Reply-To:  <v01520d07b204e2f12ed1@[206.191.77.25]>
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OK, first the review, then the specific comments.

QUICK REVIEW -

Overall a good job.  Easy to read and kept my interest.  Not a very "deep"
story, so it didn't require a big emotional commitment, which was just what
I needed at 1 am. <g>  The ending was clever, with a nice twist.

SPECIFIC COMMENTS:

These were written as I was reading the story, so they should mostly follow
along:

SPOILERS BELOW

That should be enough. :)

Karen, did you say that an older version was already on the Archive under a
different name?  The story does sound familiar, but I don't remember the
ending.  How much did you change?

I don't remember any specifics about the first version, but I'm assuming
>from your introduction that you cleaned it up a fair bit.  I didn't see
many problems in this version, so it looks like you did a thorough job.

All in all, it kept my interest.  I liked the twist of introducing Tempus
in part 3; I wasn't expecting that when Supes first went to the rescue.
You kept the action moving well in the gun fight scene, while still
providing the necessary exposition.

I would have liked to see a bit more "awe" on Jeff's part when he was
introduced to his parents though.  He seemed very blase about it, talking
to the younger version of his dad as if nothing were unusual.  Also, when
L&C kissed, you wrote him as amused where I might have gone with a little
"grossed out" to be funny. <g>  Based on this characterization, I'm seeing
the character as very battle-weary, in that he doesn't respond to anything
anymore since he's so worn out.   Was that what you were going for?

>        Smoke seemed to emanate from Ellen Lane's ears as her brain
>furiously tried to organize her thoughts.  "Oh my god!  Maybe I'm dead!
>Maybe that's why I'm in the same house with a dead writer!  Oh no!  We're
>not *all* dead, are we?  We must be.  Why else would we all be here with a
>dead writer?  How did this happen?  I don't remember dying.  It must have
>been when I. . .  "

I liked your Ellen babble, above ... funny!

Clark calling Sam and Ellen, "Mom" and "Dad" ....  Personally, it's not to
my tastes, but I've seen other fanfic authors do this.  I don't see Clark
calling anyone that but his parents, the end of "Family Hour" not
withstanding.  I've always felt Clark was speaking for effect there,
speaking for Lois, not himself.  Meaning, he was using the terms in context
for that scene, but wouldn't use them in general.  But that's just me.
Definitely a writer's choice. :)  (To wit, when I mentioned this on IRC
just now, half the room disagreed with me. <g>)

>        Sporting his glasses, a pair of black boxers, and a large amount of
>gauze on his left shoulder, Clark appeared in the doorway.

Ooo, black boxers ... drool. <g>

>        "Oh. . .  it's just that Tempus has really gotten to me.  I've
>never felt so much hate for one man, except maybe Lex.  I feel like I could
>actually kill him.  And I think that if I confronted him. . .  I think I
>probably would."

I would have liked to see more pain and anger on L&C's part over what
Tempus is going to do to their family.   You have Clark be upset, but Lois
quickly talks him down.  I would think Lois would be ready to kill Tempus
herself, and Clark wouldn't be so easily cheered.

>        Dollar signs flashed in Benny's eyes as he reached across the table
>to gather up his opponent's money.

Especially nice description here.  You did a nice job with the Tempus stuff
throughout.

>        Tempus' instructions came to an abrupt end as a searing pain
>rocketed though his temples.  He dropped to his knees and clutched his
>head.  Jake rushed to his side, took his arm and attempted to help him to
>his feet.

Oh, this is good ... got my attention.  If this was in the earlier version,
I don't remember the solution, so I'm definitely ready to open the next
part!

>        "Herb, I'm an awful person.  You have to take me back to the 22nd
>century. . .  back to jail where I belong!"

LOL!!  Didn't expect this!

>        "You mean to tell me that he's now a *part* of the Lane-Kent
>bloodline. . .  so to speak?"
>        "Yup," Lois nodded, "kind of ironic isn't it?"

LOL! Very clever!  Irony worthy of Tempus.

Overall, a fun story, Karen.  Thanks for posting it.

Kathy

______________________
Kathy Brown
kbrown@webmart.net
KathyB on IRC
______________________
=========================================================================
Date:         Sun, 23 Aug 1998 03:08:13 EDT
Reply-To:     "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Sender:       "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman Fanfic"
              <LOISCLA-GENERAL-L@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
From:         The Zoomway <Zoomway@AOL.COM>
Subject:      Re: Lone Rider Review
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In a message dated 8/22/98 10:04:14 PM Central Daylight Time,
LoriMcE@AOL.COM
writes:

<< No, not at all, but I "knew" what was coming, being involved in S5.  In
fact,
 I was kinda disappointed that my S5 solo effort didn't get this kind of
 treatment since you were busy with your episode at the time.   I know the
 story would have been stronger for it.  As far as criticism of dialogue and
 style - as far as I'm concerned, the author has the option of taking it or
 leaving it.  >>

I think the problem with the comparison here is that *private* solicitation
of
editing advice of *unarchived* (unposted) works-in-progress are being
compared
to an *unsolicited* reedit of  an *archived* story.  Also, S5 stories were
not
round robins, and since the reviewer expressed repeatedly a dislike for
round
robins, I'm curious as to what was to be gained by not so much a 'review' as
a
pastiche of grammar corrections and rewrites of authors?  I  mean I don't
like
slashfic, and so I would never dream of reviewing one.  For one thing I
wouldn't understand the genre well enough to assess it compared to other
stories of its kind, and for another I fear my objectivity, because of my
dislike for the genre, might also be in jeopardy.

>>>But other than that, this is what I thought this list was for: fanfic
reading/writing, commenting and critiquing; not everyone will agree with
everyone's opinion on a particular fanfic or writing technique, but I think
everyone benefits from the discussion.<<<

A